Former President Donald Trump has but to announce his operating mate for the 2024 election and is reportedly nonetheless contemplating a number of completely different candidates. The Onion breaks down precisely what Trump is anticipating from his subsequent vp.
- No less than one credible accusation of sexual misconduct: Trump must know his VP is the kind of man who gained’t take no for a solution.
- Extreme meals allergy: Simpler to regulate a vp after they know you may kill them by slipping in just a few floor peanuts.
- Betroth their youngest daughter to Barron: The bloodline should be secured, and a wealthy dowry should be procured to replenish the household coffers.
- Be buried alive with Trump if he dies: By contract, anybody who works for Trump should be entombed with him and all his possessions in an effort to serve him within the afterlife.
- Expertise denying issues on the statewide degree or greater: Ideally 5 years or extra denying and overlaying up as a governor or senator.
- Proficient in hand-to-hand fight and the katana: Trump’s enemies are in all places, and they’ll cease at nothing to take him down.
- Not Eric: First phrases out of Trump’s mouth simply in case considered one of his aides will get any concepts.
