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Sunday, September 29, 2024

Conventional 10,000-Calorie Sumo-Fashion Dinner Leaves American Vacationer Writhing In Starvation


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TOKYO—Greedy his abdomen and grimacing on the finish of the meal, native American vacationer Aaron Messner complained to reporters Wednesday that he had hoped to get pleasure from a time-honored Japanese culinary expertise, however his 10,000-calorie sumo-style dinner had left him writhing in starvation. “Oh God, I can’t consider all we bought to eat was some hen meatballs, a number of measly cod fillets, 40 shrimp, three kilos of pork stomach, six hen thighs, two heads of napa cabbage, a number of dozen mushrooms, three carrots, and 10 cups of broth,” mentioned Messner, who undid the highest button of his pants to level out the place he nonetheless felt hungry, including that he had mistakenly thought the gallons of stew historically reserved for sumo wrestlers placing on weight and muscle was an appetizer and had assumed a collection of entrées can be coming later. “It’s one thing I wished to strive as a result of it’s such an necessary a part of the tradition, however I didn’t notice it was going to be so unsatisfying. Ugh, I don’t even suppose I can rise up from the desk—I’m simply too weak.” At press time, Messner was reportedly feeling higher after going to a luxurious teppanyaki restaurant for an emergency infusion of pork.

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