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Sunday, September 22, 2024

How I Embrace the Easy Pleasures of a Quiet Residence Life | Wit & Delight


A woman is standing in front of a wood paneled wall, wearing high-waist jeans and a white blouse with puffy sleeves and a sailor collarA woman is standing in front of a wood paneled wall, wearing high-waist jeans and a white blouse with puffy sleeves and a sailor collar
Picture by Stephanie Sunberg for Maria Stanley

Whereas Wit & Delight has been quieter for a yr now, I’ve been writing greater than ever. As I’ve slowed down my publishing cadence, my curiosity about the way in which we reside—and why—has ripened. I’m fascinated by what sits under the veneer of aesthetics—how we enhance our areas, who we let in, and who we maintain out. Most significantly, I’ve reconnected with what it means to thrill in our personal way of life. 

The act of writing about these experiences has been deeply transformative for me. It’s introduced up conversations with readers I’d have by no means had in short-form, visual-based content material. That is what I really like most about Substack. 

Whereas I proceed to share life-style content material and the occasional private essay right here on Wit & Delight, I additionally publish weekly on Home Name, a Substack e-newsletter through which I discover why our houses—and the lives we lead inside their partitions—matter a lot. For brand spanking new or longtime readers who haven’t discovered their approach to Home Name fairly but, I encourage you to peruse this physique of labor. 

Under is an unique excerpt from a latest Home Name essay, “In Favor of a Quiet Residence Life.” Choosing a quieter life within the face of an more and more noisy world felt like profession demise for my life-style model—however one I desperately wanted for myself. I wrote about making room for vacancy, having fun with easy pleasures, and delighting in quiet moments at house. I hope you benefit from the essay and be a part of me over on Substack. 

Home Name is a reader-supported publication. To obtain new posts and help my work, take into account turning into a free or paid subscriber. To all who’ve already subscribed, thanks!

Home Name Excerpt: In Favor of a Quiet Residence Life 

Amid the repetitive rhythm of every day life, one in every of my favourite indulgences is the act of daydreaming. Ever since I used to be a toddler, I’ve discovered myself wandering freely via the realms of creativeness. What began with a unconscious want to appease myself, at its finest, has confirmed fertile floor for a wealthy interior life. The mundane turns into magical, and the extraordinary is remodeled into the extraordinary. My daydreaming has given approach to lucid dreaming and typically these photographs are so vivid, actuality pales compared. 

Once I gained the nickname “Spacey Katie” for wandering in my thoughts throughout educational classes, dance courses, and softball video games, I realized my tendency to take away myself from the right here and now wasn’t precisely serving to me navigate social settings. Like most introverts, I noticed my pure state as “much less” than—one thing to “repair” to excel on this world. 

However these days, I’ve discovered myself making extra room for introversion. This winter was deafeningly quiet in all areas of my life, a type of magic darkish that felt intentional. Like house had been made to return house to this a part of myself. I didn’t have my ordinary escapes: my creativity felt stunted, schedules have been bare-bones, and indulging in alcohol and meals simply made me really feel worse. My instinct was telling me to take the quiet and simply be with the vacancy. I quickly got here to understand this vacancy was life-giving.

How Delight and Residence Life Intersect

As I steadily opened as much as this name towards introversion, I saved coming again to how delight and a quiet house life intersect. It was the place I had given myself time to be taught to be OK with issues as they have been, to rehabilitate my petulance for extra, extra, extra.

These little duties—these neglected, underrated, easy pleasures (heat toast with tea in a sunsoaked chair for instance)—have been doing extra for my temper and sense of well-being at house than churning away at challenge after challenge. I began questioning whether it is even attainable to take pleasure in our houses if we don’t know methods to discover pleasure in simply being. All of the paint colours, wallpapers, and patterns can’t be translated into an interior sense of permission to sink into your self via the pleasure of merely being house. 

This delight I’ve been chasing since 2009 was by no means going to disclose itself via self-improvement or cookie-cutter recommendation from {a magazine} on methods to enhance my home. The truth is, I don’t assume there’s a handbook in any respect. When designing a life well-lived, one must be courageous sufficient to let go of the personas, masks, and armor they’ve amassed. Maybe releasing what isn’t ours and letting issues die that weren’t meant for us is the one approach to design a life that seems like house. Sadly, this course of isn’t a path lined with candy-colored daisies however one which extra so resembles a stroll via Demise Valley. 

I began questioning whether it is even attainable to take pleasure in our houses if we don’t know methods to discover pleasure in simply being. All of the paint colours, wallpapers, and patterns can’t be translated into an interior sense of permission to sink into your self via the pleasure of merely being house. 

This week on Home Name, I need to contact on the ability of our houses past the way in which they give the impression of being. The inspiration for this submit got here from years of engaged on my house however not essentially feeling good within the areas I used to be creating. Once I requested myself what makes me really feel most content material and delighted at house, what revealed itself shocked me.

What a Quiet Residence Life Represents for Me

Areas that stay fixed.

It’s vital to have locations in my house I’m now not actively updating—rooms I merely let be. It’s a observe that brings me each consolation and a way of peace. These areas, which embody my bed room, kitchen, and workplace, have advanced to replicate my altering wants and preferences. Whereas I nonetheless make occasional changes, I’ve determined to deliberately chorus from making vital modifications to those rooms except there’s a clear want for an replace. . . .

These areas have turn out to be extra than simply rooms in my house. They’ve turn out to be extensions of myself, reflecting my character, values, and aspirations. By permitting them to be, I enable myself to understand the wonder and luxury of the current second with out the fixed want for change.

Paid Home Name subscribers can learn the remainder of this essay—and a lot extra. Assist this inventive endeavor of mine and turn out to be a paid subscriber by clicking right here.



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