WASHINGTON—In what specialists are calling probably the most complete survey of the phenomenon so far, a brand new report printed Wednesday by the Pew Analysis Heart discovered that greater than 9 in 10 Individuals want to be tossed round like a rag doll by a Swedish logger. “No matter their age, gender, or ethnicity, an amazing share of respondents had a good view of being picked up as in the event that they had been mild as a feather by a person named Nils, Anders, or Erik who wears a blond beard and continues to be sweaty from a protracted day within the woods,” stated report co-author Sheila Pascale, who discovered amongst residents of all 50 states a really robust want to be swung over the shoulder of a big Scandinavian man, deposited onto a heat feather mattress, and relished like a beneficiant dollop of do-it-yourself lingonberry jam. “One factor is obvious: If there’s a burly, 6-foot-tall man from a Nordic nation who in some way possesses each the calloused palms of a workman and the gentle fingers of a lover, the American folks want to be sexually manhandled by him.” The report additionally discovered that the quantity jumps from 92% to 95% if the Swedish logger in query boasts a small assortment of tasteful tattoos.
