John Collins: A refreshing stability of gin and membership soda, garnished with lemon, and a maraschino cherry, however is coincidentally the title of your ex’s new lover.
Leite de Onça: A viscous concoction made partly from sweetened condensed milk. The cloying smack of your previous flame’s favourite drink. Additionally, you haven’t any concept learn how to pronounce this.
Tom Collins: Much like the John Collins, however extra restorative, mental, and handsome. Though, you gained’t order a Tom Collins as a result of that occurs to be your title, whereas your brother’s is John.
Paloma: The nostalgic style of the girl you thought was the one. Overwhelming aftertastes of figuring out it is best to by no means have launched Paloma to John.
Intercourse on the Seaside: There’s no approach you’re shouting “SEX ON THE BEACH, PLEASE” over the too loud music to the bushy bartender as a result of it’s the hard-to-swallow combination of vodka, orange juice, salt water, sand, driftwood, and jealousy of what your dream lady and your snake of a brother did final evening.
Intercourse within the Driveway: A lot the identical as their loud intimacy on the seaside however with the orange juice changed with curaçao and the sand changed with compacted grime.
Previous Long-established: The marginally too peaty fragrant of questioning if you happen to’re quaint for anticipating a pair to at the very least attempt to stifle their grunts and moans when going at it in public.
Intercourse on the Bitchen Bench of your Household House Whereas You’re Visiting for Holidays: The acidic backwash after strolling in in your coronary heart’s need and Judas John mashing their our bodies collectively proper the place you used to eat your Honey Nut Cheerios.
Intercourse within the Spa: The sharp bubbly unashamed texture that rendered the spa unusable for everybody else.
Intercourse within the Bathe: The intrusive palate of your real love and your nemesis getting it on within the one place you possibly can have gone to weep in solitude.
Intercourse on the Bunk Mattress You Used to Share with John When You Kere Children: The unsavory mixture of childhood reminiscences with the sounds and actions of the one you love and your dirtbag of a brother’s lovemaking on the highest whilst you attempt to sleep on the underside.
Tommy’s Paloma: The stinging style of grapefruit and lime juice rimmed with salt rubbed in your wounds. Served chilled with the information Paloma was as soon as yours.
Manhattan: The bitter-sweet reminiscent profile of the place you dreamed of discovering a good-paying job with respectable hours, romantically proposing, getting a mortgage, after which elevating a household with Paloma. The place your soulmate and your backstabbing brother now apparently dwell.
Intercourse on the Backseat of Your 1992 Honda Civic: The bitter tang of packing as much as head residence early from an underwhelming vacation solely to get into your automobile to seek out the unmistakeable odor of a Leite de onça and Paloma and John’s butt moldings imprinted in your vinyl seats.
Darkish ‘n Stormy: The distaste of the present state of your relationship with John.
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