So, you’re on a hike and your buddy begins complaining that their ankle hurts and that they should lower the hike quick. Positive. Possibly. Or is it that they only need to cease hanging out with you since you’ve introduced your individual poop bag? Don’t fear, there are many methods you will discover out whether or not this buddy is faking an ankle harm—and decide whether or not you’re the one whose leg is getting pulled.
Provide to hold them.
In case your buddy has really injured their ankle, they’ll virtually leap into your arms for those who provide to hold them, poop bag or no poop bag. However for those who provide to hold them they usually wince at your poop bag and say one thing like, “Ehhh, no thanks,” their harm is doubtful at greatest.
By the way, in the event that they do take up your provide they usually’re tremendous heavy, you possibly can inform them you’ve injured your wrist.
Problem them to a dance-off.
Nobody can resist a dance-off. Inform your “injured” “buddy” you’re a higher dancer than they’re after which begin doing “the transfer.” In the event that they take part, you’ll be capable to see precisely how severe this supposed ankle harm is once they try and recreate “the transfer” (which, after all, they wouldn’t be capable to execute beneath any circumstances—“the transfer” is your factor).
Nevertheless, if as a substitute of becoming a member of your dance-off they only have a look at your poop bag and say, “Would you cease swinging that factor round?” you’ve received your self one other clue as to what this “ankle harm” is basically all about.
Ask them to carry your poop bag for a sec.
Sufficient video games. It’s time to get to the center of the matter. You’ve received to go behind a bush for one more deposit and by now your poop bag is bursting on the seams. Ask your buddy (who’s not even limping) to carry your poop bag for a minute when you go care for enterprise. If they are saying, “After all, thanks for trusting me with it,” there’s an opportunity they’re within the clear and that their ankle, please God, is in a large amount of ache. Nevertheless, in the event that they balk at your easy request to carry your poop bag for only a second, it’s protected to say the jig is up—they’ve lied about their ankle in an effort to get away from you and your bag of poo.
Threaten to go away them for the bears.
By now an assortment of enormous bears have begun to observe you in your hike and your buddy has already blamed your poop bag quite a few instances for attracting them. It’s not an unfair accusation—the bears do appear extraordinarily interested by your bag of poo and it’s apparent they need to know extra, as bears are an especially clever species.
Your buddy tried to again away from the bears however tripped on a rock and now claims to have damage their ankle “for actual” and desires “your assist.” How very attention-grabbing. You’re reminded of that fantastic story, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” You ask your buddy in the event that they bear in mind how that story ended. Your buddy begins begging you and admits they had been weirded out by the truth that you introduced your individual poop bag on the hike and might’t perceive why you’ve been pooping a lot. Ah-ha!
Save their life.
After their revealing confession, your buddy begins pleading with you to throw your poop bag into the woods to distract the bears so you possibly can each get away. Fats likelihood. As a substitute, you will need to tie your poop bag securely to your belt, bend down and scoop your injured buddy up onto your again. They’re so heavy and also you truly do damage your wrist, so you find yourself tipping over and tumbling down a steep cliff. You find yourself on the backside with out a scratch, largely since you landed on prime of your buddy, who’s now complaining about their head. You drag them to your Ford Fiesta, plop your poop bag on the dashboard and head to the hospital.
You’re driving by a Taco Bell once you ask your buddy in the event that they’d prefer to cease for a fast chunk? They refuse—their head actually hurts, they are saying.
Oh, actually?
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