I used to be going to sail across the globe on the earth’s smallest ship however I bottled it.
– Mark Simmons
I have been taking salsa classes for months, however I simply do not feel like I am progressing. It is only one step ahead… two steps again.
– Alec Snook
Ate horse at a restaurant as soon as – wasn’t nice. Starter was all proper however the mane was dreadful.
– Alex Kitson
I sailed by way of my driving take a look at. That’s why I failed it.
– Arthur Smith
I really like the Olympics. My good friend and I invented a brand new kind of relay baton: effectively, he got here up with the concept, I ran with it.
– Mark Simmons
My dad used to say to me “Pints, gallons, litres” – which, I feel, speaks volumes.
– Olaf Falafel
British etiquette is complicated. Why is it intellectual to take a look at boobs in an artwork gallery however lowbrow once I get them out in Spoons?
– Chelsea Birkby
I needed to know which got here first the hen or the egg so I purchased a hen after which I purchased an egg and I feel I’ve cracked it.
– Masai Graham
My companion advised me that she’d by no means seen the movie Gaslight. I advised her that she positively had.
– Zoë Coombs Marr
The conspiracy principle concerning the moon being fabricated from cheese was began by the hallouminati.
– Olaf Falafel
I’m a particularly emotionally needy non-binary particular person: my pronouns are ‘there there’.
– Sarah Keyworth
I’ve obtained a girlfriend who by no means stops whining. I want I would by no means purchased her that winery.
– Roger Swift
Homosexual persons are very unhealthy at maths. We do not naturally multiply.
– Lou Wall
Keir Starmer appears to be like like an AI-generated picture of a substitute trainer.
– Sophie Duker
Rising up wealthy is a hereditary situation. It impacts 1% of individuals.
– Olga Koch
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