MANKATO, MN—Warning that if elected the candidate would present his sinister true colours, acquaintances of Democratic vice presidential nominee Tim Walz alleged Tuesday that his ‘aw, shucks’ persona was merely a canopy for his very actual ‘gee whiz’ tendencies. “He might act all gosh-and-golly in entrance of the cameras, however the Walz political machine has spent years masking up the reality about his ‘Oh, for Pete’s sake!’ character,” stated an individual near the Minnesota governor’s household, one among a number of sources for this story who requested that their identify be withheld for concern of reprisal from highly effective forces attempting to bury what they described because the candidate’s “heckuva” previous. “All this ‘goodness gracious’ stuff is simply baloney. Ask anybody round right here, and so they’ll let you know he’s your basic jeez-Louise politician who has bullied his approach to the highest of state authorities by blackmailing his opponents and crying ‘That’s simply hogwash!’ anytime somebody criticized him. He might have fooled the remainder of the nation along with his finely tuned ‘Jumpin’ Jehoshaphat!’ act, however ‘Holy buckets!’ is who he actually is.” When reached for remark, a spokesperson for the Harris-Walz marketing campaign denied the governor had ever misplaced his mood and informed anybody to carry their horses.
