Jimmy Fallon is extra model than human at this level. The Tonight Present host has devoted a staggering quantity of airtime previously two months to selling his numerous Halloween side-hustles, together with a brand new youngsters’s e book and a haunted maze attraction set inside the recesses of his personal twisted unconscious.
When you assumed that October thirty first would lastly mark the tip of Fallon’s holiday-themed advertising bonanza, you couldn’t be extra unsuitable. Mere hours after the Tonightmares haunters have hung up their costumes for the yr, Fallon shall be dropping “Vacation Seasoning,” a brand new Christmas album that includes particular musical company reminiscent of Dolly Parton, Justin Timberlake and the Jonas Brothers. It’s set to be launched on November 1st, in what can solely be thought-about an act of struggle in opposition to Mariah Carey.
A number of of the album’s tracks have already appeared on Tonight Present episodes, reminiscent of final yr’s “Wrap Me Up” that includes Meghan Trainor, and it does seem to be the right Christmas tune for testing customer support employees’ sanity, or accompanying a December dental checkup.
It is going to additionally characteristic 2021’s “It Was a… (Masked Christmas)” that includes Megan Thee Stallion and Ariana Grande. Melodically, it’s far much less grating than “Wrap Me Up,” however does anyone wish to spend their vacation listening to a tune that’s all about celebrating Christmas through the pandemic?
Whereas unleashing extra cloying vacation recordings into the world is actually nothing new for celebrities (we’re you, William Shatner), Fallon’s yuletide grift extends far past a easy album. The comic has a brand new web site devoted to hawking overpriced Christmasy rubbish. In fact he shall be promoting his album, out there as a $50 vinyl document, and an $85 “deluxe” model that includes a pop-up insert, Fallon’s autograph and the nagging feeling that you need to have spent your cash on actually the rest.
jimmyfallonholidayseasoning.com
However the web site additionally has a ton of bafflingly costly Christmas merch on the market, such because the “Vacation Seasoning” crew neck sweater, full with Fallon’s big face plastered on the entrance. It’s yours for the low, low value of $127.
jimmyfallonholidayseasoning.com
There’s additionally a Fallon Christmas stocking for $50, wrapping paper for $34 a roll and an oven mitt, adorned with a number of Fallon faces, for $38. At a sure level it’s important to marvel if struggling third-degree burns is the higher choice right here.
jimmyfallonholidayseasoning.com
Most egregious, nonetheless, is the $56 jigsaw puzzle. This isn’t some large puzzle that can take you weeks to unravel, it’s a measly 252 items. And whenever you’re accomplished, all that you simply’re left with is a photograph of Jimmy Fallon gleefully shoving a cassette tape into Christmas cake or some shit.
jimmyfallonholidayseasoning.com
No less than together with his Halloween merch, Fallon and NBC didn’t appear to be actively gouging their very own devoted followers. Possibly we must always simply be grateful that Fallon’s not making an attempt to promote us all Christmas ape NFTs.
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