FOXBOROUGH, MA—Wanting to make sure her supporters had ample area to have fun the massive win collectively, a assured Jill Stein informed reporters Tuesday that she had chosen Gillette Stadium for her election night time watch social gathering. “I believe 65,000 seats must be sufficient to suit everybody, however we will at all times have overflow within the parking zone if want be,” mentioned the confident Inexperienced Social gathering presidential nominee, beaming excitedly from her place on the stage as she seemed out on the three supporters who had already assembled to observe the election protection together with her. “Reserving this place was value each penny. Nobody reveals as much as these events early, however they’ll begin trickling in quickly, and some hours from now this place might be heaving. It’s gonna look so cool after we drop all these President Stein balloons I ordered. I can already hear the roar of the gang as I turn out to be America’s forty seventh president! I’ll see if they will queue up some inexperienced lasers for the second when my 270th Electoral Faculty vote is available in. And I can inform my victory speech might be one for the historical past books—although perhaps I ought to attempt to pare it all the way down to 45 minutes whereas we’re ready for the votes to return in.” At press time, sources confirmed that Stein had gone forward and booked the stadium once more for 2028.
