ALEXANDRIA, VA—Noting with frustration that the 4-year-old’s viewing habits had doubtless destroyed his YouTube account ceaselessly, native man James Ratliff informed reporters Monday that the AI-generated Russian movies his son had been watching have been ruining his personal suggestions for AI-generated Russian movies. “Goddamn it, what is that this shit?” stated the 47-year-old father, who regardless of years of coaching his algorithm to counsel a gentle stream of glitchy, propaganda-filled movies from accounts with names like “Patriot Eagle 1776” now needed to click on round dozens of poorly rendered cartoons that his youngster had watched and that have been made by the identical malicious overseas brokers. “Critically, who does YouTube suppose I’m? I’m a grown man who desires to observe exposés of the deep state [created by the Kremlin to spread disinformation and destabilize the U.S. government]. I’m not some youngster who desires to observe a bunch of deformed-looking singing bears [created by the Kremlin to spread disinformation and destabilize the U.S. government].” At press time, Ratliff confirmed he’d created a separate account for his son so they may mindlessly fall down their respective rabbit holes and be brainwashed individually.
