SILVER SPRING, MD—Amid a scarcity brought on by rising demand, manufacturing points, and federal limits on manufacturing, the Meals and Drug Administration confirmed Friday that the insufficient provide of ADHD medication was forcing extra dad and mom to beat their kids. “Confronted with out-of-stock pharmacies and few viable alternate options, many dad and mom of kids with attention-deficit/hyperactivity dysfunction are left with no alternative however to set their kids straight the old style method,” mentioned FDA spokesperson Lee Blunden, who defined that the weeks-long delays in acquiring Adderall, Vyvanse, Concerta, and different stimulants had led dad and mom throughout the nation to beat their kids into submission. “Sadly, beating your kids is barely a stopgap measure. We’ve heard complaints from numerous dad and mom involved that the scarcity will have an effect on their kids’s efficiency in class, as they’re typically too sore to take a seat nonetheless at their desks. Till producers can increase the provision of blended amphetamine salts, there’s sadly little or no we will do besides to encourage you to provide these little shits a very good smack throughout the pinnacle.” At press time, Blunden added that oldsters must also take into account delivery them off to army college.
