The shoulder sway: Stay music lets you reinvent your self as a free spirit with a carefree perspective. Your chill new persona at all times seems like it would stick, however you plunge proper again into generalized anxiousness and a nagging sense of ennui as quickly because the lights come up, questioning why on Earth you thought it was a good suggestion to take off your footwear—once more. Ticketmaster is your most used app.
Clapping alongside: You’re assured. Some would say overconfident.
Toe tapping: As a baby, you dreamed of changing into a banjo participant who wears a straw hat and travels the nation on foot, strumming the ol’ strings for anybody who will hear. Your authoritative dad and mom satisfied you to check medication as an alternative, so attending this live performance is the closest you’ve ever come to selecting up an precise instrument. You hope the rhythmic motion of your toes is sufficient to sign you’re a real melomaniac, however you’ll drop $5k on the merch stand later simply to make sure.
Holding up a lighter: You will have a peace signal bumper sticker in your automotive.
Holding up your cellular phone: You will have a peace signal bumper sticker in your Amazon wishlist.
Sitting completely nonetheless and making no noise in any way: Each atmosphere you enter is a strain cooker, and this venue is not any exception. Will individuals suppose you’re obnoxious should you sing alongside? Will you block somebody’s view should you transfer a millimeter to your proper? Will this higher mezzanine collapse should you exhale too loudly, leading to 97 deaths and 142 critical accidents? You’ll strive your hardest to forestall the fictional disasters you’ve made up in your thoughts from occurring even when it kills you—and it would! You haven’t taken a deep breath for the reason that summer season of 2006.
The slight head bop: You’re simply vibin’, man. You at all times neglect to cancel your subscriptions earlier than the free trial ends, however you don’t beat your self up about it. You will have a basket weaving class tomorrow. Though you suppose puka shell necklaces are cultural appropriation, you’re retaining one at the back of your underwear drawer in case you alter your thoughts.
The intense head bang: You’ve by no means vibed in your life. You at all times bear in mind to cancel your subscriptions earlier than the free trial ends, and you’re feeling superior about it. You will have a CrossFit class tomorrow—and a headache. You went to the hospital final week since you forgot to put on your Fitbit and thought your coronary heart stopped beating.
Dancing within the aisles: It’s your one evening a 12 months away out of your three younger youngsters and also you had 4 glasses of pinot grigio earlier than the opener completed their set. You’re thrilled to spend the evening with absolutely grown individuals who know use the bathroom on their very own. You simply washed your hair for the primary time in weeks, and also you’re delighting in its floral scent as you twirl to your favourite tunes. You’ll want to do that extra typically. You additionally want a trip residence.
Singing each lyric: You utilize customized drawer organizers to your trouser socks and point out that you just had been voted “Most More likely to Succeed” in highschool at each banquet you’ve ever been invited to. You listened to all 15 of the band’s albums on repeat for 3 months main as much as this present, and you’ll make rattling positive your fellow concert-goers know you’ve accomplished your homework. You’d like to sit back and loosen up, however you’re too busy getting the best grade within the class—or, uh, viewers.
Buzzing alongside: Should you had a dime for each time somebody referred to as you an “previous soul,” you’d be sitting entrance row with an all-access VIP cross.
Recording each track in your iPad: You will have a tough time staying current and take into account your self a “grasp multi-tasker.” Should you’re having a shower, you’re listening to a podcast. Should you’re studying a e book, you’re operating on a treadmill. Should you’re at a live performance, you’re capturing some shaky video footage starring the again of an unassuming individual’s head. You in all probability received’t re-watch these movies, however they could come in useful should you’re ready in line on the grocery retailer, or caught in site visitors en path to one among your three jobs.
Screw it, standing: You’re a psychopath.
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