Every little thing I Missed Out On Whereas My Glasses Had been Fogged Up

1. These little baggage that you just put your umbrella in on the museum, so I needed to carry mine across the complete time and drip water all around the flooring.
2. The “Seat Your self” sign up a very empty restaurant, so I stood awkwardly on the host stand for quarter-hour earlier than the busboy lastly stated, “You may seat your self, .”
3. That basically good, generic espresso store artwork of espresso beans on the wall of a Starbucks. Had I seen it, it could have modified my perspective on life…. Perhaps I might have turn into a painter as an alternative of a low-level accountant.
4. Dave from Authorized waving good day to me once I got here into the workplace the opposite morning. He doesn’t discuss to anybody and a few folks suppose he may even be mute, however he selected at present to be the day that he greeted somebody for the primary time after he had a breakthrough in remedy after he used a promo code for BetterHelp. After I didn’t wave again as a result of the mist had overtaken my frames, he took it as me ignoring him and determined to by no means greet anybody once more.
5. The July 2018 version of Males’s Well being on the journal space of the dentist’s workplace. Mid-fog, I mistook Anne Hathaway for The Rock and unintentionally picked up Cosmopolitan journal and needed to decide to the bit whereas ready two and half hours for my dentist. I did not notice till I used to be seated and my glasses unfogged that I used to be studying “379 Intercourse Positions That Will Blow Your Man’s Thoughts!” I used to be embarrassed however #63 ended up blowing my thoughts.
6. A fortunate penny that, had I noticed it on the ground of the DMV once I got here in from the chilly, would have cured my imaginative and prescient and I wouldn’t need to put on glasses that fog up anymore.
7. The Lumineers’ Tiny Desk Live performance, sponsored by NPR. They selected my workplace desk because the desk to do their live performance on, and I missed their complete set. Perhaps there’s fog in my ears too?
8. The face of the one who pick-pocketed my telephone once I entered a bar on a snowy Saturday evening. Had I seen them, I might have given them a extremely stern speaking to, particularly as a result of I maintain a photograph of my Social Safety card as my lock display, since I generally overlook my quantity.
9. My long-lost twin. The long-lost twin in query manned up and bought contacts, so they’d have seen me if I didn’t appear like a giant dweeb with my glasses fogged up.
10. My soulmate. They are saying the eyes are the home windows to the soul, however I couldn’t see by way of mine so I ended up lacking our meet-cute the place we attain for a similar bag of SunChips at 7-Eleven.
11. The delivery of my first little one. I ought to have deliberate forward higher, they usually might have been born in the summertime months so I might see them come into the world. Guess I used to be too busy rubbing off the steam with my T-shirt to witness a miracle.
12. My massive break as a mannequin. The one modeling scout in your entire world who would’ve beloved my poop-brown, loopy eyes was in the identical CVS as me once I got here in to choose up my prescription, however I used to be too busy unintentionally bumping into the foot cream endcap on the entrance of the shop as a result of I couldn’t see.
13. A greenback on the bottom. Had I seen and picked up that greenback, I might have spent it (the one greenback I owned at that time) on a Wonka bar. In that Wonka bar, I might have pulled out a golden ticket. I might have later gained your entire Wonka chocolate manufacturing facility and never needed to work one other day in my life, as a result of the Oompa Loompas are already self-sufficient.
14. The ghost that lives in my home. Each night they attempt to present themselves once I get residence from work, however then they instantly vanish due to the second-hand embarrassment they’ve for me once they see my lenses all fogged up.
15.  The second coming of Christ. It’s laborious to consider that he solely stopped by for just a few seconds, and within the time it took me to defog my glasses once I stepped into Buffalo Wild Wings to choose up my to-go order.

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