Ever since his help of an antisemitic Twitter submit led advertisers to depart the platform, Elon Musk has tried to rehabilitate his fame, most just lately by touring the Auschwitz-Birkenau loss of life camp. The Onion examines all the things Elon Musk did throughout his go to to Auschwitz.
Did Donuts In A Cybertruck
Fortunately the car’s engine caught fireplace earlier than any of the buildings have been broken.
Jotted Down Concepts To Implement In His Tesla Gigafactories
A pupil of historical past is aware of there’s a lot to be realized from the previous.
Requested Individuals To Play Fuck, Marry, Kill
The docents have been horrified, to say the least.
Stated The Nazi Trains Ought to Have Been Boring Firm Tunnels
Musk acknowledged that it might have made the journey throughout Germany much more snug for all of the Auschwitz prisoners.
Discovered That There Are Higher Locations To Drop Acid
Made Completely Pathetic Small Speak With Tour Information
5 instances he introduced up how a lot he liked video video games like Halo and Amongst Us, and 5 instances the tour information was compelled to politely redirect issues again to the matter at hand.
Repeatedly Did His Wario Impression From ‘SNL’
In a vaguely Italian accent, he stored making a face and saying, “Wario is-a not-a antisemitic.”
Requested If They Needed To Construct An Auschwitz On Mars
He stated that Auschwitz wanted to be prepared to colonize different planets if it wished to outlive.
Shot Off His Flamethrower At The Entrance
Musk stated he wished to make issues really feel a bit extra “epic sauce” as a result of folks have been “being whole downers.”
Praised The Prisoners For Intermittent Fasting
He repeatedly stated it was the one weight-loss methodology moreover Ozempic that actually made any affect on his weight.
Tried Mescaline For First Time
After allegedly ingesting LSD, cocaine, ecstasy, mushrooms, and ketamine, he figured the infamous web site of one among historical past’s best horrors was pretty much as good a spot as any.
Requested If The Land Was For Sale For His Subsequent Gigafactory
In line with Musk, he was very impressed with what he’d seen.
Unveiled Formally Licensed 2023-2024 Apology Tour Merch
The bestselling merchandise is a $60 hoodie with the slogan “Right here Is Video Proof I Am Not Antisemitic.”
Requested Vacationers If They Knew The place Grimes Was
Watched ‘Blue Eye Samurai’ On His Android Cellphone
He forgot headphones, so he needed to put the speaker quantity on.
Checked Out The Bookstore To See If They Had Any Dan Brown Novels For His Flight Residence
Sadly, all that they had was boring Jewish stuff.
Tried To Purchase Auschwitz
The Auschwitz-Birkenau Basis politely declined the billionaire’s supply.
Introduced A Sink
It wasn’t utterly clear what he was going for right here.
Made A Few Calls
Musk spent the tour FaceTiming executives at Comcast, Disney, and different Fortune 500 firms so they might see how completely non-antisemitic he was being.
Misplaced Twitter A Few Extra Million {Dollars}
To be honest, that is taking place each minute of the day irrespective of the place he goes.
Was Filmed Nodding Solemnly For five Seconds, Then Instantly Boarded A Non-public Helicopter That Picked Him Up Proper In The Center Of The Camp
