MYRTLE BEACH, SC—Immediately committing its remaining days on earth to waddling behind the person, a neighborhood sea gull reportedly determined Thursday to comply with Doug Wheeler round for the remainder of his life after the 32-year-old accountant absent-mindedly tossed some scorching canine scraps on the bottom. Based on sources, Wheeler won’t go anyplace within the many years to come back with no gentle pitter-patter of the gull’s toes trailing behind him, the results of his informal resolution to throw the final chunk of his scorching canine right into a boardwalk trash can, an effort that failed when the frankfurter bounced off the receptacle, inflicting the fowl to instantly descend upon it and gulp it down. Insiders confirmed that whereas the 3-year-old sea gull would by no means once more get hold of such a beneficiant portion of processed meat from Wheeler’s hand, it will nonetheless accompany him via all of the remaining seasons of his life, together with a profession change, a marriage, an acrimonious divorce, retirement within the Poconos, and, finally, his dying from pure causes in 2087. Sources added that man and seabird will in actual fact share their last moments collectively, passing away simply minutes aside, hand and wing clasped in fond embrace as everlasting sleep in the end overtakes them.
