THE HEAVENS—Emphasizing His Everlasting Kingdom’s infinite provide of prime actual property “simply ready to be developed,” the Lord God Almighty introduced plans Monday to bulldoze heaven and construct luxurious condominiums. “Quickly we’ll start demolition on the starry firmament and break floor on unique, state-of-the artwork residences that, with their high-end finishes and lavish facilities, will ship opulent residing in heaven on excessive,” stated God, who reigns all-powerful over all creation, including that He had partnered with a developer keen to take a position $40 billion {dollars} in an effort to construct the huge advanced, which can function 600 modern multimillion-dollar residences with unobstructed floor-to-ceiling views of your complete universe. “To enhance entry to the brand new website, we’ll start by tearing out heaven’s gold-paved streets and changing them with an elevated expressway that can permit rental house owners to bypass all of the neighborhoods in purgatory. And once we’re completed, the property will likely be occupied by lavish, spectacular new houses that embody valet parking, concierge providers, non-public balconies, indoor and outside swimming pools, everlasting life, and a well being membership.” The Lord later informed reporters the Pearly Gates weren’t slated for demolition, explaining that similar to heaven, the brand new growth could be a gated group.
