Donald Trump lately introduced on Fact Social that he has teamed up with nation music artist Lee Greenwood to promote a customized “God Bless The USA” Bible for $59.99. Right here is every part we all know in regards to the bespoke spiritual textual content that the previous president is hawking.
Scholarly Annotations By Kevin Sorbo
The MAGA loyalist and Hercules: The Legendary Journeys star offers insightful historic notes all through.
Drippings From Trump’s Cheeseburger
The grease stains showing halfway via the Gospel of Mark had been solely made on a couple of copies, which are actually limited-edition collector’s objects.
Half The place Jesus Encounters 5,000 Hungry Folks And Runs Them Over With Pickup Truck
Different Bibles simply gloss over this miracle.
Israelites Have Been Renamed
In an effort to make them appear much less Jewish, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob now go by Tucker, Rudy, and Ted Nugent.
Retelling Of Crucifixion In Which Jesus Is Killed By Migrant Caravan
The edited scripture stresses Jesus by no means would’ve died if Jerusalem had a powerful border wall.
1988 ‘Hustler’ Centerfold
Amberlee is a barely authorized dancer out of Sarasota, Florida.
Readers Are Named As Co-Defendants In His Subsequent Authorized Case
Nestled throughout the “phrases and circumstances” is a clause that states buy of the Bible makes the proprietor legally culpable in all future instances introduced towards Trump, whether or not civil or legal.
Trump’s Golf Scorecard
If God Almighty says Trump shot a 67, then it have to be true.
Blasphemy Matches
The within cowl features a set of easy-strike matches for burning all heretical, non-Trump variations of the Bible.
Eric Trump Chew Marks
He obtained ahold of some copies, sorry.
Upgradable
For an additional $20 you may get one that claims adultery is okay.
Illuminations Of Jesus Taking part In Jan. 6
Apparently Christ the Lord would’ve gladly hung Mike Pence.
Trump Household Family tree
In case you learn intently sufficient you will note that the previous president is a descendant of Jacob and can stay to be 248 years outdated.
A number of Categorised Paperwork
Copies of the U.S. navy’s nuclear launch codes will be discovered halfway via Leviticus in most copies.
Supplemental Part Consists of Lyrics To Child Rock’s ‘Bawitdaba’
A part of the trouble to gather all essentially the most important non secular texts in a single place.
Three Bonus Gospels
The Trump New Testomony contains never-before-seen books together with the Gospels of Eric, Tiffany, and Boebert.
No Outdated Testomony
