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Sunday, December 22, 2024

Existential Researchers Educate Rat To Run Perpetually By Exitless Maze


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PARIS—In what has been hailed as a breakthrough in how one should confront the sheer nothingness that pervades all being, existential researchers on the Collège worldwide de philosophie introduced Thursday that that they had taught a rat to run endlessly by means of an exitless maze. “Our crew has efficiently ascertained that rats are not any completely different from people of their capability to scamper perpetually by means of a maze with out objective or finish,” mentioned Jean-Pierre Descoteaux, one of many pale, expressionless researchers who smoked pipes as they defined their certainty that the rats have been slowly studying the best way to confront the perplexing and vertiginous job of current with no final aim. “There isn’t a cheese on the finish as a result of there may be no finish. And like us—for what are we however trapped rats—these rodents dwell of their mire of unhealthy religion, all the time holding onto the lie that simply across the subsequent nook, and the following, and the following, there may be some morsel, some petit fromage d’phantasm that may rescue them from the nausea of utter freedom. There isn’t a rescue, little rat. Embrace your jail, and you may be free.” At press time, Descoteaux had added that the lab’s subsequent job could be to show a rat to desert its self-deceiving notion of itself as a rodent, per se, and slightly uncover the super freedom that lay in being nothing in any respect.

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