Again when it was an ideal, revered, and worthwhile enterprise, journalism employed 1000’s of reporters who labored tirelessly to cowl attention-grabbing and necessary tales from across the globe. However now, after years of neglect, an overreliance on programmatic promoting, and predation by personal fairness companies, the business is however a desiccated husk of its former self, crawling towards demise with nothing and nobody however The Onion to reserve it.
Luckily, you are able to do your half to assist sluggish the humiliating and fully preventable demise of media by taking part in The Onion’s annual Click on Drive.
Right now, we invite our dumbest, most loyal readers to spend just some brief minutes of their unhappy, pathetic, nugatory lives clicking mindlessly by means of numerous articles, columns, infographics, slideshows, and movies on TheOnion.com. Moderately than permitting company overlords to intestine the business and promote it for components right this moment, you may assist guarantee they maintain off, line their pockets a bit longer, and as an alternative destroy your favourite information shops tomorrow.
So please, open a browser in your laptop or cellular gadget, kind in TheOnion.com, and click on anyplace and in all places for so long as you’re able. Each single click on by means of our bloated, ad-riddled web site will assist preserve your entire business on life assist till a billionaire proprietor, personal fairness agency, or consulting group lastly decides to tug the plug as soon as and for all.
Double the factors in case you click on by means of our total Click on Drive slideshow, endure the excruciating full minute of pre-roll promoting on our movies, or click on on one of many many intrusive, browser-crashing advertisements under!
After which, when you’re achieved, click on as quick as you completely can by means of another Pulitzer Prize–successful articles on TheOnion.com, like those right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, right here, and right here.
Who is aware of? Possibly sooner or later you’ll inform your grandchildren the way you clicked lots of of occasions on an internet site, pumping embalming fluid into the rotten corpse of on-line media and permitting it to final about 30 seconds longer than it might have in any other case.
As long as you register only one pageview on TheOnion.com, you may assist the American public droop disbelief and proceed to faux that journalism is alive and effectively for one more day. Along with your assist, we’re assured the business will survive simply lengthy sufficient to say goodbye earlier than descending right into a hellscape of deserted web sites, damaged URLs, and AI-generated click on farms for all eternity.
