NEW YORK—Emphasizing that it was their solely possibility amid the rampant protests that had erupted on campus, Columbia College introduced Monday that it had given college students the choice to complete courses from jail. “Given the present political turmoil and the numerous security hazards it poses, all present college students can be permitted to finish their semesters from the New York penitentiary system,” mentioned Columbia College President Minouche Shafik, including that in gentle of latest occasions, all members of the group had been inspired to attend lectures nearly from the consolation of their darkish, windowless, 6-by-8-foot cell. “Whereas we want we might proceed in-person studying, the easiest way to maintain our college protected is to permit college students, school, and workers to finish the previous couple of weeks of the college from behind bars. Additionally, ought to college students want, they are going to be permitted to simply accept their diplomas nearly, no matter whether or not they’re at the back of a police van, at Rikers Island, or in solitary confinement someplace off the grid.” At press time, Shafik added that any pupil who had been crushed to dying might, if want be, additionally full courses from their morgue.
