1. An unregistered van with blackened home windows pulls as much as your home at 2:17 am. You’re directed to get in. The chauffeur is sporting sun shades.
  2. You’re dropped off outdoors a boarded-up constructing. The one distinguishing function is an indication constructed from discarded steel that reads, “Parker’s Playground.”
  3. On the door, a voice asks for the password. Your escort drones, “Lengthy stay The Duke.”
  4. You’re ushered by way of an underground labyrinth. Via the dim lighting, you make out a graffitied poster for the 1973 Montreux Jazz Pageant.
  5. Within the distance, you hear the echo of somebody repeatedly muttering, “Mingus Ah Um.”
  6. You’re led to a small soundproof basement and seated on a chilly metal chair. Above you, a solitary uncovered gentle bulb sparkles and emits a faint buzz. The timbre evokes a flashback to your childhood of warming up your lips earlier than blowing “What a Fantastic World.”
  7. You, and different shadowy figures, are left ready in silence and nervous anticipation for an indistinguishable period of time. Finally, 5 individuals stroll into view by way of a wall of cigarette smoke. They’re all sporting both a beret, a turtleneck, or a mustache. Some put on all three.
  8. The individual you assume is the chief saunters over. He has a neck tattoo of a woman sporting nothing however a saxophone. He crouches down, stares into your soul, after which crescendos right into a full hour of crooning nonsensical phrases, similar to “Skibbity-bee-bop.”
  9. When he finishes, everybody claps and says issues like, “Noodle it once more, you loopy cat!” and “Nasty pipes, Daddy.” You haven’t any thought what simply occurred. However to slot in, you nod and clap alongside.
  10. A cacophony erupts. There’s no discernible key, time signature, or melody. You’re disoriented and overwhelmed. All you wish to do is sleep, however the noise makes it unimaginable.
  11. After six lengthy units, the music stops, though your head nonetheless kilos. You’re led out of the basement, and into morning daylight. The van you arrived in has been burned down, you presume so there’s no proof of what simply occurred.
  12. Because the door closes behind you, a voice whispers, “That’s jazz, child.”
  13. You stumble dwelling praying you’ll by no means once more expertise the horror of that evening.

1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 13: Each
5, 8, 9, 12: An unique jazz membership

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