THE HEAVENS—In an effort to find out the efficacy of a divine regulation that will sooner or later be part of these in His present Decalogue, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, advised reporters Wednesday that He was testing out a possible new commandment on mice. “The part 1 trial of this newest Eleventh-commandment candidate might be carried out with mice, and if it reveals promise, it would later be examined on human and angel topics,” stated the Creator of All Issues, explaining that the early-stage research on the experimental commandment would run for 12 weeks and would fastidiously observe the mice’s ranges of piety, meekness, and chastity. “A brand new commandment hasn’t been permitted in over 3,000 years, and that’s as a result of a rigorous design and growth course of is used to make sure any heavenly decree is secure and efficient for all of creation. It’s essential to display screen for any unwanted side effects resembling willfulness, a love of worldly issues, or demonic possession. If all goes effectively, a human ought to be capable of obtain the commandment at our Mount Sinai facility by A.D. 2900.” At press time, celestial sources confirmed the brand new commandment trial had been halted early after a number of mice confirmed indicators of eager to usurp God’s supreme authority.
