You assume my youngster is a heinous sociopath as a result of she killed your loved ones cat? Ever heard of formaldehyde and Damien Hirst? It is referred to as artwork.
Oh? My pricey Timothee The 15th stole your little stinkers Nintendo Swap? Are you able to even afford one?
Rupert flashed his backside to the entire class? Ever heard of “efficiency artwork?” Gosh. His nice nice nice uncle was a well-known exhibitionist, in fact he has eccentricity in his genes. It is your dampening of his inventive disposition that worries me essentially the most… What sort of instructor are you?
My 14-year-old has been promoting class-A medication behind the science block? Effectively, Mr. Headteacher, what occurred to your faculty’s ethos on “Turning boys into entrepreneurial younger males since 1959?” If something, your faculty is in charge for my son’s newfound entrepreneurial spirit. You do know who my husband is, proper?
My stunning Otilie wiped her faeces on the college lavatory partitions? Effectively, her Godfather’s son’s mind surgeon’s sister is a well-known muralist and not too long ago attended our banquet. She’s clearly simply feeling a bit impressed. Goodness gracious there’s not a single instructor with an open thoughts and a respect for the humanities right here.
You’ve got CCTV footage of my Valerie Lisa Mona the 5th robbing your little comfort retailer? Not my Valerie Lisa Mona The 5th. Individuals have been pretending to be her on Instagram since she was 10 years outdated due to how fashionable and exquisite she is, it is clearly the identical state of affairs. It have to be. Plus, we virtually have a comfort retailer in our pantry so there’d be no want.
My little angel put your youngster in a headlock and compelled them to smoke a cigarette? Effectively, what can I say? It is not my fault my youngster’s cooler than yours.
You caught my valuable Peter snorting cocaine off of the urn stuffed together with your mom’s ashes? Who would even purchase an urn with a floor so flat? I can not imagine your distaste fueled such creativity in my youngster, I must be proud if something.
You assume my blessed Tarquin is a violent uncouth psychopath as a result of he bit your… your… factor’s finger off? Darling, it’s referred to as curiosity. Our nanny advised us it’s normal amongst ultra-gifted kids. Perhaps your youngster simply isn’t sensible sufficient.
My son retains giving your boy a wedgie? Wow. He actually is selfless. You see, we wish to encourage each other to lean into discomfort and apply Stoicism in our family, so my son clearly needs to assist your boy turn out to be much less of a weak-willed sufferer. Bless him. Right here, I’ll write you a verify for 1000 kilos, that ought to get you a duplicate of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Thank me later! Mwah.
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