25.3 C
New York
Friday, September 20, 2024

A Voicemail from Your Girlfriend (She Fell Down a Effectively)



Hey child, it’s me. I hope your day’s going effectively. I used to be simply serious about you, I do know you could have a giant presentation at work at the moment. Let me know the way it goes, okay? My day is nice, not too dangerous, besides… Oh, you already know…

Okay, I’m simply going to come back proper out and say it. I used to be on my day by day stroll to the dairy farm on the finish of the road, and one factor led to a different, and now I’m caught on the backside of the effectively. I attempted to climb out by hoisting myself up on the little picket bucket, nevertheless it broke off and now I’m caught down right here.

So like, I actually don’t wish to be a burden, however would you thoughts coming to assist me? Provided that it’s in your approach dwelling from the workplace. Please simply ignore me if that is any inconvenience in any respect. Like, severely, I’m nice! I’ve loads of contemporary ingesting water, a cool bucket, and 50… 55… 56 cents! So, don’t even fear about it!

However… if it isn’t an excessive amount of bother, I might like it in the event you may cease by and assist me get out. It gained’t take lengthy, possibly 5 or ten minutes? I can attempt climbing once more in the event you assume it might assist. Please, come assist me, it might imply a lot to me. Please…

Please come over, child. Please. I’m begging you. I’m on my knees. I can’t do that with out you. I want you to come back assist me. I want you, child. Make all my needs come true. It’s so lonely on this effectively, and I’m at all-time low – actually. And I do know that it is a drawback solely you’ll be able to resolve. I want somebody robust and succesful such as you to come back over and provides me a hand… or two arms… and even only a finger. Or, you already know, you could possibly fall in, too. It may be a little bit tight, however I feel there’s sufficient house. Simply me, and also you, and–

Ouch! Sorry, child, somebody simply tossed in a coin. Cool, a nickel! Now I’m as much as… 61 cents—rating! Make a want, child. *plink* Anyway, what was I saying? Oh, that’s proper. Simply me, and also you, and…

Screw this. I gained’t allow you to and your animal magnetism distract me from the truth that I’ve been speaking to your voicemail for 3 minutes and 28 seconds when you’re off doing God is aware of what with God is aware of who! What about me, huh? The place’s my knight in shining armor?

I guess Jared from my faculty debate workforce would have been right here by now. He’s man, and I at all times thought that he cared about me. No, I’m not sleeping with him—don’t even go there. That is larger than intercourse. That is about belief, child. Actual, grown-up belief. This flighty, mysterious act isn’t going to work ceaselessly. I at all times instructed myself that when I graduated, I wouldn’t allow you to string me alongside like this anymore. And now have a look at us!

I want I wasn’t caught on the backside of a effectively.

*plink*

I want I wasn’t down right here on their own. I want I knew the place you have been!

*plink PLINK*

I want somebody was right here serving to me. I want I had a accomplice I may depend on. I want Jared hadn’t transferred to a state college after our sophomore 12 months!

*plink PLINK PLINK*

I want we may take a break and see different individuals for a short time. Or… ceaselessly!

*PLINK*

… By the way in which, in the event you’re not coming, do you assume you could possibly ship the fireplace division?

Associated

Sources


Related Articles

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Latest Articles