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Saturday, October 5, 2024

An Inner Monologue as I Navigate My Workplace’s Open Floorplan



100 ft: Hey, it’s Kevin. Wait… does Kevin like me?

95 ft: Shit, can he even see me at this distance?

90 ft: Okay, he can positively see me.

85 ft: He is too far-off for me to provoke contact, proper? What even is the suitable distance to say hello? I imply, I can see him, but when I needed to say something, I’d have to lift my voice, however not like yell. It’s positively too far-off, I can let you know that.

80 ft: No, it isn’t.

75 ft: Properly, now I’ve made eye contact for a lot too lengthy.

70 ft: Screw it, I’m simply going to wave. Social norms be damned!

65 ft: Shit, he’s positively not taking a look at me.

55 ft: No response, did I do one thing to upset him?

50 ft: Let me suppose, I did make that remark about male sample baldness eventually yr’s Christmas Celebration. I imply, I didn’t say something inherently adverse about it or him, however he’s positively exhibiting a bit of spot.

47 ft: That’s not it, now that I give it some thought, I didn’t give him again the PCB revision he loaned me final month. I imply, I unintentionally blew the chip on mine so I wanted it to work, however I suppose I might have been extra clear about the entire thing.

45 ft: Yeah, however even when that’s the case, that’s probably not truthful. I imply, he will get paid and I receives a commission. We each must be productive to keep up our jobs and actually, aren’t we each working in direction of the identical objective? We’re on the identical workforce, proper?

43 ft: However isn’t it unrealistic to separate the non-public from the skilled? The capitalist needs it so. The second I step inside this workplace, I’m not an individual, however a useful resource, a software to perform some finish. I’m the hammer, Kevin is the sickle.

41 ft: When you concentrate on it, although, shouldn’t Kevin and I like one another by our shared pursuits? Are we not each on the identical workforce, the workforce of labor, the workforce of the employee? Our loyalty is to not the corporate, however to one another and all the opposite staff of the world. And that’s the tragedy, that they’ve so resolutely remoted us that the non-public objectives of our particular person survival have put us at odds over one thing so trivial as a lacking circuit board. What have we change into?

40 ft: Shit, I’m not smiling. Don’t overlook to smile. Be heat, be personable, similar to Dr. Greene says. Am I smiling? Smile! Good, very pure.

35 ft: Possibly I’m approaching this complete factor incorrectly. I’m one of many few minorities on this supposedly progressive workplace. I reside in a world that I discover myself more and more alienated from. Possibly that is simply half of a bigger actuality I face exterior the confines of this harsh fluorescent lighting?

32.5 ft: Fast, stutter-step across the workplace canine.

32.5 ft: Faux to be regular. Sure, pet the canine.

32.5 ft: Good lady, Leo, good lady.

32.5 ft: Did they purchase it? No matter I don’t care.

30 ft: I’m an intrusion into this ecosystem, into this world, although they gained’t admit it. Admit it? They in all probability aren’t even conscious. It’s the darkish facet of human nature, a darkish facet that lies dormant and is propagated by even essentially the most well-intentioned people. There actually isn’t any relaxation for the depraved…

29 ft: Oh shit, he smiled again! It’s in all probability not that then.

27.5 ft: You recognize what it’s? It’s me. I’m the issue. I’ve hardened myself towards the very considered human connection to the purpose the place I construct partitions that individuals can see, can really feel, can sense with their innate instinct. I defend myself, and lose myself within the course of.

25 ft: However that’s not truthful to me. Any social relationship is a two-way avenue, a give and take, an elaborate dance between two individuals who should keep away from any misstep to stop the entire thing from falling aside.

22.5 ft: “Oh hey Pyotr, sure, I anticipate to have that ticket in code evaluate by end-of-day tomorrow.”

22.5 ft: “Yeah, my drive-in was okay. It’s kinda loopy how delicate rain simply causes site visitors to skyrocket. Persons are simply unhealthy at driving.”

22.5 ft: “Alright, haha, yeah see you on the 3 o’clock assembly.”

10 ft: SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, HE’S RIGHT THERE.

9 ft: I’m a wretch, a depressing cretin.

8 ft: Dr. Greene lied to me about folks’s inherent worth.

7 ft: Sister Nancy was right about authentic sin.

6 ft: My mom was proper…

5 ft: I’m ugly.

4 ft: I’m a bizarre social freak, ceaselessly doomed to being an outcast.

3 ft: I’m not even human.

2 ft: I hate everybody.

1 ft: I hate myse–

0 ft: “Oh hey Kevin, how’s it going?”

-1 ft: That wasn’t too unhealthy.

-2 ft: God, please reply me, why am I like this?

-3 ft: Properly, no less than I made it to the break room. I can get that espresso I have to perform. Possibly the caffeine will straighten me out, easy my nerves a bit.

-50 ft: Alright, time to move again to the ol’ desk.

100 ft: Oh shit, can Kathy see me?

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