WASHINGTON—Calling an emergency session round 12:39 a.m., Congress rapidly authorised a invoice for a nationwide night-light Monday after waking up from a scary dream. “Whereas we’re positively not afraid of the darkish, holding a light-weight on someplace in the USA will likely be a supply of consolation and make it simpler to go to sleep, particularly once we’ve awoken from a nightmare to seek out ourselves in a pitch-black nation,” mentioned Sen. Chris Coons (D-DE), co-sponsor of the Scary Monster Act, which was handed unanimously by each the Senate and Home of Representatives and allocates $128.4 million for an orbital night-light that can present a dim supply of illumination to all the nation because it sleeps. “This laws gives enough funds to assemble an enormous night-light in a enjoyable form like a soccer ball, or perhaps a dolphin or the moon, and it may keep on till the nation will get a bit of bit older and doesn’t want it anymore. It could even be helpful when an aged nation like England or Japan comes over and desires to seek out its solution to the toilet in the course of the evening.” At press time, sources reported that lawmakers had gone again to sleep, woken up once more, and begun authoring a decision wherein they expressed regret and mentioned they hoped the nation wasn’t offended that every one 535 members of Congress had moist their beds.
