Dear Valued Constituent,
Thanks for taking the time to contact my workplace and share your ideas on the upcoming election. I respect you taking the time to succeed in out; your opinion issues so much to me. A lot so, that I encourage you to observe me on Twitter and Instagram, and in addition subscribe to my Substack.
I take your considerations severely, Constituent. Did you see my tweet from this morning saying I take everybody’s considerations severely, accompanied by a gif from The Workplace? Effectively should you did, I would like you to interact with that tweet, ideally a like, retweet, and quote tweet, in order that we are able to unfold the message, and my Twitter deal with, far and huge.
Talking of spreading our message (as a result of in spite of everything, this actually needs to be a crew effort), I would like you to transcend simply “seeing” my unimaginable social media content material. I would like you to push different residents to stand up and struggle towards my low social media following.
13K followers on Twitter? We as a nation are higher than that.
May you think about if I reached 40K followers on Instagram? Wow. It’d be a dream come true… as a result of, in fact, I’d have a bigger platform to unfold consciousness of the issues most essential to you. And with a bigger following, I’ll acquire extra credibility with voters, my friends in Washington, and most significantly, my fellow content material creators.
Constituent, do you suppose Emma Chamberlain would ever collaborate with a nano-influencer like me? Sorry, nano-influencer/congressman like me? I swear, everyone seems to be a “multi-hyphenate” nowadays.
Pay attention, I don’t prefer it any greater than you do, however the truth of the matter is these days, actual coverage modifications are fought for and written on social media. Talking of writing, I couldn’t assist however discover your electronic mail was not on my Substack subscription checklist. Constituent, actual significant change won’t ever come to be until you learn my poignant evaluation of coverage modifications in DC and my hilarious article rating each single Zach Galifianakis film.
Constituent, I’ll be direct with you: politics is boring. It’s been arduous for me to generate buzz round my social content material. I may cross the aisle and do a couple of collab posts with my fellow legislators, however I’m constructing a model voice. I can’t simply be tagging the minority chief willy-nilly for affordable likes. Audiences can scent a scarcity of authenticity, and that’s not truthful to them.
I realized so much about equity once I watched the film Do the Proper Factor on my telephone final week throughout a congressional listening to. In an effort to fight the unfair and unjust inequities that proceed to run rampant in our nation, you will need to observe me on Letterboxd to learn my insightful evaluate of the film.
Pay attention, Constituent. I haven’t forgotten why you contacted me. I simply have so much on my plate proper now. With the acute volatility of our authorities because of the antiquated two-party system, it looks like all the weight of the world is on my shoulders. All my Constituents, such as you, are relying on me to maintain churning out groundbreaking TikTok compilations of my impressions of the forged of Pals.
The strain is just too a lot typically.
Between us, I’m satisfied that a few of my fellow Congress members are bolstering their social media following with bots. This sort of soiled, foul play taints the democracy you and I cherish so dearly.
That’s why, because of the a number of requests I’m certain you have been planning on making, I’m drafting the “Anti-Faux Followers” invoice. This landmark laws will take away any disparities between myself and my so-called “tremendous widespread” Congress members on social media (there’s merely no method all of AOC’s followers are natural).
Our Founding Fathers championed the proper to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. My invoice would deliver forth a degree taking part in discipline in order that People may as soon as once more pursue happiness by spending their lives, at their very own liberty, boosting my engagement charges on Snapchat.
Hope lingers on the horizon, Constituent. America is a nation constructed on hope. Hope remodeled our panorama from a meager, humble land to a robust, exceptional nation, a nation the place I deserve—nay, have the proper—to be adored nearly by thousands and thousands of strangers on-line. In any other case, what the fuck was the purpose of all this?
See you on-line,
Your Congressman
Observe me on: Twitter, Fb, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitch, MySpace, Google Drive, FlikTrix, Bleeps, ShartAlart, Plorpo, Tinklez, RazzDazz and LinkedIn.
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