WASHINGTON—Arriving for a marketing campaign technique session with the vice chairman and staring in disbelief at her frail, hunched-over kind, prime Democratic Social gathering officers reportedly started panicking Monday after they found Kamala Harris had aged 40 years in a single evening. “What the hell occurred to her? She was solely 59 yesterday,” the visibly distraught DNC chair Jaime Harrison mentioned after the social gathering’s new presumptive nominee started to ask him who he was after which trailed off, her cloudy eyes glossing over beneath a wisp of stark-white hair and her pores and skin now wrinkled and liver-spotted. “She’s been rambling about every kind of nonsense, and he or she retains calling everybody “buster.” No, Madam Vice President, I’m not your stepson, and I’m not right here to take you again to California. Goddammit, she’s too far gone to even formulate a coherent argument for abortion rights. Somebody higher name [California Gov. Gavin] Newsom and ensure he nonetheless remembers his personal identify.” At press time, sources confirmed outstanding members of the social gathering had been instructed to shortly shift their help to a spry, cogent 31-year-old Joe Biden, who had by some means de-aged 50 years in a single day.
