THE HEAVENS—Describing the expertise as among the many most painful a father can undergo, the Lord God Almighty opened as much as reporters Monday in regards to the wrestle of shedding His solely son to online game habit. “What actually will get to Me is seeing this excellent, vibrant, loving youngster lose His divine spark and spiral deeper and deeper into His obsession with these meaningless video games,” mentioned the Maker of Heaven and Earth, who grew visibly emotional as He mentioned watching the Messiah keep up till 4 a.m. to play Overwatch 2 with His clanmates and by no means as soon as hassle to inform them they need to love their neighbors as themselves. “Currently, He received’t even eat an honest meal or take a bathe, as a result of He’s too busy grinding up His ranges. I attempt to speak to Him about stuff He was excited about, like common love and repair to others, however the one issues He appears to care about are sizzling keys and loot packing containers. Let’s put it this fashion: Whereas He could have risen from the useless in three days, it’s going to take Him rather a lot longer to rise from that beanbag chair He simply slumped down in to play StarCraft II.” God added that folks had no thought what it was wish to ask a son if He needed to return in glory to guage the dwelling and the useless and have Him scream at you to exit and purchase Him extra Monster Vitality drinks.
