THE HEAVENS—In a press release addressed to people vulnerable to having their entry to life on earth completely revoked, God, the Almighty Creator, confirmed Monday that He would quickly delete hundreds of thousands of people resulting from inactivity. “To my expensive creations, per My all-seeing eye, you haven’t been an lively participant within the human race since Feb. 5, 2015,” a voice from on excessive bellowed to Justin Buller, 35, of Nashua, NH, one in every of an estimated 700 million individuals who obtained comparable messages, which cited a service settlement to be used of the planet beneath which the Lord God is alleged to retain the fitting to delete any and all of His creations who fail to do something of worth with their lives. “When you want to proceed dwelling in your present aircraft of existence, please drop to your knees and pray to the heavens inside the subsequent 30 days; in any other case, your physique, thoughts, and soul will likely be faraway from the cosmos all the time. And because you haven’t performed something together with your life, no proof you as soon as lived will stay behind if you’re gone. That is your last warning. You won’t be able to recuperate your home on earth as soon as the grace interval has expired.” At press time, God had despatched quite a few blights, plagues, and floods to release additional area within the universe.
