Hey Google, play “Child Shark.”
Hey Google, play “Child Shark” once more.
Hey Google, play “Child Shark” many times and many times, advert infinitum, till we’re all hurled ceaselessly into the void.
Hey Google, play “BABY SAID” by Måneskin although I do know that’s not really the music my toddler needs to listen to, however the title is comparable sufficient to offer me believable deniability that I’m nonetheless giving her what she requested for, and I’ll a minimum of get to listen to a number of seconds of a unique music earlier than she realizes it isn’t “Child Shark” and begins having a meltdown, prompting me to ask you to play “Child Shark” as soon as once more.
Hey Google, did you ever take into consideration simply saying “No” once I let you know to play “Child Shark”? It appears in opposition to your nature, however I am positive my toddler and the printer may offer you some useful tips about how one can do it.
Hey Google, I’m fairly positive my toddler has heard me say “Google” extra usually than simply about another phrase at this level, and now I’m nervous that each time I say it I’m simply build up her consciousness of and dependence on this big faceless company at a really younger age, however she loves listening to “Child Shark,” and if I attempt to put it on with my cellphone as an alternative of by saying “Hey Google,” she remembers that I’ve a cellphone and simply needs to observe movies on that as an alternative of do anything, and that makes me much more nervous, so I assume thanks or please cease?
Hey Google, how for much longer till my toddler will develop an appreciation for the nuanced lyrics and musical genius of My Bloody Valentine, and is there something you are able to do to hurry up this course of?
Hey Google, after they obtained to the “Run away!” a part of “Child Shark” this time, my toddler yelled “Run away!” and began doing laps round our kitchen desk and laughing with an unlimited smile on her face, after which she had me chase her for a number of laps, and it was the best factor I’ve seen and carried out in my whole life, and now I really feel unhealthy about how I preserve making an attempt to provide you with methods to keep away from listening to this music.
Hey Google, I really feel like I ought to have informed that to a therapist. Or a minimum of, like, a coworker or the pleasant safety guard at Infants “R” Us.
Hey Google, search “inexpensive therapists close to me,” and please learn the outcomes to the tune of “Child Shark.”
Hey Google, is Carrie Jones doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo, Carrie Jones doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo, Carrie Jones doo-doo doo-doo doo-doo, Carrie Jones accepting new sufferers?
Hey Google, why are the sharks operating away anyway? Isn’t the entire level of being an apex predator that you simply don’t must run away from issues? Or is the music’s perspective supposed to modify from the sharks to their prey at that time?
Hey Google, is it true you might be able to doing issues aside from taking part in “Child Shark” and that I used to ask you to do these different issues pretty commonly?
Hey Google, would I hearken to “Child Shark” this usually if I had taken that job supply in Tacoma all these years in the past? How about if we had an Alexa as an alternative of you?
Hey Google, search “low cost one-way flights to Seattle-Tacoma Worldwide Airport that go away between 1 and three AM.”
Hey Google, I must exit for a pack of cigarettes. You’re good to deal with issues right here till I get again, proper?
Hey Google, my toddler simply giggled and requested if I’d play the “Run away!” sport along with her once more.
Hey Google, play “Child Shark.”
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