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Tuesday, July 2, 2024

High Seven Important, Should-See, Can’t-Miss Locations If You’re a Migrating Goose



Greenland

Greenland in the summertime is gaggle targets. The midnight solar is a vibe, the gleaming Icefjord beckons, and swarms of honking geese flap and poop in all places. Don’t miss snacking on native grasses that embody Greenland’s terroir and parading round such as you personal the place all whereas letting these cool North Atlantic breezes ruffle your feathers (in a great way).

Bar Harbor, Maine

Honk in the event you love pine bushes! So stylish, so luxe, so stuffed with rose-soaked French fries and whoopie pies for the stealing, Bar Harbor is a superb little city wherein to set your webbed toes down. As a bonus, the exhausting grey pebble seashores provide a 100% pure exfoliating therapy.

Professional tip: a favourite, much-loved outside rest room—oops, we imply artwork set up—is the Maine Sculpture Path.

Cape Cod, Massachusetts

The true ones know there is just one cape, and it is known as “the Cape,” and it’s a severely gorgeous place to relaxation your drained wings earlier than you rise and fly. The reeds rush and the air smells like honeysuckle. Late-season blueberries burst with sweetness in your higher mandible and remind you of the idyllic childhood summers you by no means had as a result of your mother and father break up up once you had been younger (which was bizarre, as a result of geese usually mate for all times, and it’s not such as you wanted another excuse to really feel like a clumsy freak) and also you went to stay along with your nice aunt who simply went on all day about how in her day geese had been anticipated to stay round and never instantly fly south the second it acquired somewhat chilly.

Right here on the Cape the setting solar colours the sky orange and pink, and also you suppose, possibly you would like to remain in a single place for some time, you already know? As an alternative of at all times migrating, migrating, migrating, at all times hustling to outspeed the earth because it revolves across the solar. You would get used to this—a quiet, gentle life by the ocean.

However no. A bitter berry snaps you again to actuality. You gotta transfer. You’re already late. You’re taking one final crap on a hydrangea in full bloom, get into vee formation, and go.

Atlantic Metropolis New Jersey

Atlantic Metropolis is a tune, it’s a temper, it’s a sense. What this Jersey Shore hotspot lacks in appeal it makes up for within the salt water taffy, funnel cake, french fries, and hoagies that litter the boardwalk within the early morning hours. Completely don’t miss: waddling your approach right down to the shoreline to dabble in shallow water, honking and hissing on the some seagulls, after which relieving your self on a sea-worn railing.

Miami, Florida

When you love glitz and glam then you definitely’ll love Miami, or, as some name it, “me-goose-me.” Most geese flock to South Seaside to see and be seen, however there’s additionally a ton of stuff to do together with pooping, honking, head pumping, and mingling with different migrating species. Don’t take into consideration the Cape. Take into consideration how good that Cuban sandwich goes to style when you swoop down and seize it in your beak after which flap away to take pleasure in your snack within the scorching, humid Florida local weather. You’re so shut!

Havana, Cuba

Havana is a must-do layover the place the fragrance of mariposa perfumes the air and pastel basic automobiles line the streets. An excellent self-care observe is to the touch down in Havana and poop somewhat, steal some plantains after which honk and hiss alongside to some salsa music.

Cancun, Mexico

Ahhhhh, you made it, you’re right here to your prolonged keep in paradise. Cancun the place geese go to breed and make recollections within the scorching white sand as a result of, ass it seems, this journey is really all concerning the vacation spot. Non-migratory birds don’t know what they’re lacking, and thank God you did not keep in sleepy boring Cape Cod, you’d be a frozen goose-icle proper now! Eff that place. Keep in mind, what occurs in Cancun stays in Cancun, and what occurs in Cancun is that this: mating, honking, hissing, waddling, stealing tacos after which taking a stunning leisurely crap out by the pool. Bliss.

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