“Grief is the value we pay for love.” ~Queen Elizabeth II
Dropping a cherished one is rarely simple, and when that cherished one is a father or mother, the ache can really feel insurmountable.
Final August, I confronted one of the crucial difficult moments of my life: My father, my rock and my confidant, handed away after a courageous battle with most cancers.
As immigrants, my father and I shared a bond that was uniquely deep; we relied on one another for help, belief, and steering in a brand new world. His knowledge formed my life, and his power impressed me day by day. That is my story of grief, therapeutic, and the steps I’ve taken to navigate this profound loss.
Enable Pure Time to Grieve
Grief will not be a linear course of; it ebbs and flows, demanding to be felt in its personal time.
My father spent his remaining days in palliative care, with my mom and me by his aspect. Watching him in ache, seeing the strongest individual I knew slipping away, was heartbreaking. In that remaining week, I cried greater than I had in my complete maturity.
His passing introduced a combination of reduction—realizing he was not struggling—and numbness. Within the weeks and months that adopted, I allowed myself to really feel every thing: the disbelief, the anger, the guilt, and the regret. Every emotion got here naturally, and I allow them to circulation. It’s important to embrace these emotions relatively than suppress them, as they’re a vital a part of the therapeutic course of.
Prioritizing Self-Care
All through my life, I’ve been the caretaker, all the time guaranteeing everybody else was okay. This journey made me notice that I couldn’t proceed to pour from an empty cup.
I slowed down, took day without work, and centered on self-care. I rediscovered actions that nourished my physique, thoughts, and soul. Journaling turned a therapeutic outlet, and working towards gratitude shifted my perspective. I indulged in spa days, kickboxing, and dancing, drank loads of water, and tried meditation.
Staying related with nature, studying for pleasure, exploring Greek and Roman mythology, and making new associates introduced pleasure and a way of renewal. Studying a brand new language additionally turned a option to stimulate my thoughts and create new recollections.
Looking for Assist
Reaching out for assist might be daunting, however it’s an important a part of therapeutic.
I signed up for a digital well being program that provided teaching and related with associates who had skilled comparable losses. Whereas I haven’t but felt prepared to speak to a therapist, it’s one thing I plan to pursue within the close to future. Supporting my mom, who can also be navigating her grief, has taught me the ability of vulnerability and the significance of accepting assist from others.
Protecting Busy
Staying busy turned a option to channel my power and feelings positively. I engaged new shoppers, took new programs, moved to a brand new metropolis, shaped new skilled and private relationships, and even began a brand new enterprise.
Difficult myself professionally and personally helped me step out of my consolation zone whereas being light with myself. Understanding the finite nature of life has made me let go of societal expectations and deal with creating significant relationships and pursuing targets that actually resonate with me.
Grateful for the Journey Collectively
Above all, I’m profoundly grateful for the journey I shared with my father. Not all households are as shut as ours, and the bond we had was a real present.
My father’s resilience, power, and avenue smarts have left an indelible mark on my life. He taught me to be cautious but sturdy, resilient but empathetic. His legacy lives on within the classes he imparted and the love he gave.
Grief is a posh, multifaceted expertise, however it is usually a testomony to the depth of our love and humanity. As I proceed on my therapeutic journey, I carry my father’s knowledge and power with me, realizing that he’s all the time part of me.
About Christine Chen
Christine Chen is an entrepreneur, product chief, and group builder with a ardour for the humanities, historical past, and culinary adventures. She aspires to journey to all seven continents in the future. You possibly can attain her at christinechen2007@gmail.com.
