Water. The elixir of life. It transforms an unremarkable, rocky wasteland into our great blue marble which teems with life at each flip. From the big humpback whale to the minute carpenter ant; from the grandiose giraffe to Anders, this man that works out on the health club my girlfriend goes to. All life, nice and small, relies on water, as does Anders, who’s neither nice nor small. He sucks, however is sadly 6’4”.
The river basin of the Rubi supplies the water which grants life to the majestic African okapi. The okapi’s super, striped legs and sleek, elongated neck earned the okapi the nickname “zebra giraffe.” The striped legs of the okapi are fairly putting, aren’t they? They will surely look good on nearly anybody.
Like if a man had unusually thick leg hair, and he watched this okapi footage yesterday, then on the best way residence he noticed an indication that stated “laser hair removing: $30” and, after spending some time attempting to determine if $30 was loads or just a little for laser hair removing, ended up going for it and getting his leg hair lasered off into okapi-eque stripes, that will be cool, proper?
Although crucial for all times, hazard lurks at each flip within the river basin. Beautiful although they’re, the stripes on the okapi’s legs serve to guard the okapi; permitting it to mix into the dense vegetation of the African grasslands. Nonetheless, away from the African plains, within the health club locker room, the striped leg hair as an alternative attracts consideration. Lasered off leg hair stripes solicit calls of “Hey Anders, come look. That man who retains saying you’re hitting on his girlfriend has zebra stripes in his leg hair. It appears to be like actually silly.”
Had been it an actual life okapi Anders was seeing within the locker room, he would merely admire the great thing about the super creature. He wouldn’t go as much as the okapi and say, “Hey, that girl stated she isn’t your girlfriend. She doesn’t even know you.”
And he positively wouldn’t drag an actual okapi to the entrance desk and get it banned from the health club by mendacity and saying it peed within the bathe, when truly it peed whereas on the leg press machine and it was attempting to scrub the pee off within the bathe.
Right here, the okapi makes use of its prehensile tongue to know leaves that seem simply out of attain. The complicated and wondrous tongue permits the animal to achieve its dinner, whereas remaining low sufficient to the bottom for its pure camouflage to maintain it secure from predators. And since this African river basin doesn’t have any Chipotle managers wandering round, the okapi doesn’t get yelled at to “stop doing that tongue factor to the bitter cream. Additionally, I can’t in good conscience promote you any extra dairy or pinto beans. Not after what I needed to clear up yesterday.”
No, the exceptional tongue of the okapi, together with its pure habitat, protects it from such annoyances.
A feminine okapi has simply entered the male’s territory. The male begins to chuff and dip his head to showcase his small horns, or ossicones, in an effort to impress her. Had been he not outfitted with these ossicones, the male okapi must discover a totally different strategy to entice her consideration. However, a warning to the hypothetical, hornless okapi, don’t search consideration by getting what you thought was a cool, big tattoo throughout your chest. The aforementioned Chipotle supervisor will pull you apart and say, “Hey, it’s important to put on a shirt in right here.
Additionally, my legal professionals stated I can’t do something about it, however we don’t know one another in any respect, and it makes me uncomfortable that you simply received my likeness, full with my work identify tag, tattooed in your chest. Particularly after Anders instructed me you’re referring to me as your girlfriend?”
As a result of the okapi is solitary he’s unlikely to cross an extended haired man with an indication saying “laser hair removing reversal: $1,000.” And since $1,000 is far more than the $30 it price to get the leg hair lasered off within the first place, this looks like a way more authentic and reliable operation. Out on the vary, the okapi additionally wouldn’t have to toss in an additional $100 to cowl up a chest tattoo. And the okapi completely wouldn’t must cope with paying all that cash solely to comprehend the laser hair removing reversal course of and the tattoo removing course of appears to simply be this man gluing animal (hopefully not okapi) fur onto nonetheless very tender pores and skin, all earlier than the man’s wig falls off and also you understand it’s the identical man that did the laser hair removing within the first place.
However, above all, as a result of the mating season is comparatively quick, an okapi would by no means return residence to seek out its spouse standing exterior saying, “Some man named Anders got here by right here since you left your membership card on the health club. He stated you’ve been calling some girl there your girlfriend? What occurred to your legs?”
The okapi has survived, however tomorrow the cycle will start anew. Life’s troubles, it appears, stop for no creature.
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