After years of opening my justifiable share of suspicious attachments, sharing my social safety quantity over the cellphone with offshore representatives, and sending cash to the “FBI” so I would not get despatched to “IRS jail,” I’ve discovered the arduous option to acknowledge when one thing appears too good to be true.
That is why after I acquired a strange-looking letter at this time addressed to “Logan Corcoran or Present Resident” from a spot known as the College of Enterprise On-line, a “for-profit, online-only grownup studying portal,” I used to be a tad suspicious. Much more so when I discovered it contained a full-ride educational scholarship.
As a middle-aged man already with a level, a rewarding profession, and a full household life, I assumed it needed to be a mistake. However the supply letter could not have been extra express: “We hereby award this scholarship to Logan Corcoran or Present Resident.” It was mine, alright.
Properly, it did not take lengthy studying via the UBO welcome brochure earlier than it turned painfully apparent what it truly was:
An unbelievable alternative.
Because the brochure clearly states, the College of Enterprise On-line is not simply within the enterprise of constructing a revenue; it is within the enterprise of constructing goals come true for a revenue. It additionally clearly states that the phrases “full-ride” and “scholarship” are to be understood in a extra colloquial sense, as there’s nonetheless a compulsory charge to enroll, attend, and graduate this system.
Certain, I wasn’t trying to give up my job, take out a second mortgage, and jeopardize the well-being of my household per se, however after watching the included DVD, “College of Enterprise On-line and Me: It is the Actual Deal,” it turned obvious that this was an actual deal, once-in-a-lifetime probability to attend the premier establishment for digital greater e-learning and tele-study in “issues of enterprise and different such.”
So, after near virtually quarter-hour of cautious deliberation (disregarding my household’s enter, who, in contrast to me, have by no means fallen for a rip-off and thus do not know what they’re speaking about), I made a decision to utterly “derail my life” (the spouse’s phrases, not mine) and go full steam forward into my model new goals of academia. My spouse and children simply don’t perceive that if I exploit my distinctive promo code WELCOMECURRENTRESIDENT10 to enroll by the top of the month, I get the primary ten hours of lessons free of charge. I might be shedding cash if I did not reap the benefits of that.
If I’ve discovered one factor in my life, it is that incredible alternatives, in contrast to scams, do not seem in your mailbox every single day.
All that was left was paying the enrollment charge. And after I discovered the place to buy Dogecoin, I paid the enrollment charge. So, actually, all that was left was selecting my subject of examine.
UBO affords many cutting-edge levels custom-made to present me a leg up in at this time’s aggressive market. As such, I am proud to announce I’ve chosen to pursue a double main within the thrilling fields of TurboTax and cursive.
Now, I do know what you should be pondering, however let me cease you proper there—sure, it’s a vigorous curriculum, and sure, I can deal with it. See, UBO affords a subscription choice to their upgraded scholarship tier that unlocks a quick observe to getting my TurboTax diploma in a minimum of 156 weeks. That is education accomplished my means. As for fulfilling my cursive credit, these would require summer time college.
Many individuals have mentioned cursive handwriting is useless and there is not any purpose to be taught it as an grownup, particularly at the price of an all however sure divorce. However I do not suppose that is true. If it weren’t for the enjoyment of teaching the following era of penmanship leaders, UBO would not be getting something out of it apart from my private information and weekly course charge.
Once I’m lastly capable of write “Ivan Smirnov Ogievich” and “5 Hundred Fifty-9 and 99/100” in lovely, expressive cursive letters on my weekly checks made on to the College of Enterprise On-line’s monetary controller, I do know the sensation of satisfaction will make the arduous work, sacrifice, and solely attending to see my youngsters one weekend a month all price it.
And despite the fact that UBO is not a part of the “Ivy League,” it’s a part of one thing known as the “Platinum Most well-liked Double Factors Membership,” which is a bank card/college ID providing advantages like 2% money again on all purchases on the myUBO.ru college spirit retailer and $20 off my first six bins of Hiya Recent.
I am unable to wait to take step one on this journey I could not have presumably imagined earlier this afternoon. And, to not sound naive, however I can already inform how useful a profession in TurboTax can be in profitable again my spouse.
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