Surprise! It is me! Now, I do know what you are in all probability considering: “How? Why? Even after that complete Cheerios-in-your-ass factor?” Properly, to that, I might say: quite a lot of private fortitude, the promise of an everlasting life crammed with unfathomable wealth, and so they have been truly Apple Jacks. And sacred ones at that.
By now, you have seen what the remainder of the gang is as much as as of late—tearful reunions with household, joyous gallivanting with childhood pets in open fields, all underscoring the super private progress they’ve undergone over the previous three hours.
Not me, although. Nope, I am the second epilogue man. You will not discover any 5 for Combating songs right here. No, the one music you will hear now could be no matter music that is that is enjoying whereas I am on maintain with Rikers Island to fill The Seer’s commissary fund.
Wait a second, is tha– Oh wow, it’s! I suppose you can be listening to 5 for Combating, in spite of everything!
Hear, I can definitely perceive your shock about all this. Consider me, nobody is extra stunned than I’m. In any case, who of their proper thoughts would up and depart a candy deal just like the one we had going for us? All of the cool herbs you may eat, and also you by no means have to fret about selecting out an outfit within the morning? Why would anybody select to dwell some other means?
If there’s one factor I’ve realized all through my time within the group, although, it is which you can’t get contained in the minds of different folks, irrespective of how tightly fixed the electroencephalography helmet is.
So, the million-dollar query: what am I as much as as of late? Properly, acquire calls principally. Undoubtedly numerous acquire calls. Somewhat little bit of neglecting family and friends when I’ve the time. That is one thing I’ve all the time been tremendous captivated with. Honestly, I would like to lean into the neglecting area just a little extra, however between threatening to poison different folks’s pets and picketing exterior federal courthouses all on my own, there are solely so many hours left within the day, you understand?
It definitely would not assist that I am a little bit of a “celeb” now, which is admittedly taking some getting used to. Do not get me improper, I am grateful for the publicity and all, however I have never fairly gotten used to all the eye from strangers on the road. And for no matter motive, all of them wish to know the identical factor: “Why are you rubbing my shoulders?”
However then the second query they all the time inevitably ask is: “You actually assume this man is harmless?”
And my response is all the time the identical: first off, not a “man.” He is a transdimensional deity. Then I ask who they’d belief: 300 folks within the Tri-State space who’ve an “ironclad case for coercive manipulation and wire fraud,” or me, one single one who, as I’ve simply demonstrated to you, owns a parrot that may say unhealthy phrases.
I am positive at this level you are all questioning what my plans are for the longer term—my “ten-year plan,” so to talk. Properly, for starters, I am considering of redoing my kitchen. In order that’s thrilling. Additionally, lopping my penis and balls off to ship to The Seer as a reminder of my timeless fealty to him and the trigger. We’ll see, although. I imply, you must see a few of these estimates I am getting. I am asking for cupboards right here, not a Maserati. One thing about provide chain points. I do not know. It is all the time one thing with these guys.
However exterior of that, extra of the identical, actually. Actually simply extra of the identical.
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