What’s Nedflix?
Named after our founder and sole proprietor Ned Haskins, Nedflix is an thrilling new various to streaming video that brings movies and TV exhibits straight into your front room on DVD, VHS, and LaserDisc.
How does it work?
Whereas typical video-on-demand companies ship video content material by way of your web connection, Nedflix’s “rolling library” delivers video content material by way of 4 hard-shell rolling suitcases lashed along with bungee cords.
Do you could have an app or web site?
No want! Merely place your order by sending a message to Ned’s devoted pager and in 1-6 hours you’ll be good to go, offered nobody else is utilizing the service, tunnel site visitors isn’t too loopy, and Ned can discover parking for his 36-foot “Cinebago.”
How do I join?
With Nedflix there’s no must enter bank card particulars or signal sophisticated subscription phrases. The one contract Ned requires is direct eye contact and a agency, one-pump handshake.
What if I don’t have a DVD participant or VCR?
Now we have all of the gear. Since Ned’s not as younger as he was, he could ask for a hand bringing in his cables, massive venue projector, and proprietary speaker system. Setup takes roughly an hour and also you’ll be prepared to pick your title and press “play” as soon as Ned catches his breath.
Is password sharing allowed?
Sure! Be happy to share your Nedflix password with family and friends to allow them to whisper it into Ned’s good ear.
What if I neglect my password?
Ned will ask you a sequence of safety questions similar to your favourite discontinued video format.
What if Ned forgets my password?
You’ll be completely locked out of the system.
Can I modify my password?
No.
How a lot does Nedflix value?
We cost a flat payment of $3.99 per video plus $8.99 for gasoline and tolls (offered Ned can’t discover a toll-free service street). With Nedflix the one “hidden prices” are that Ned could assist himself to one thing out of your fridge if his blood sugar will get low. In case you’re apprehensive this may intervene along with your viewing expertise, don’t be! Ned is a quiet chewer.
Wait, Ned’s going to look at the film with me?
Ned’s presence throughout your viewing expertise permits him to toggle particular options that streaming can’t provide, like deleted scenes and Ned’s personal reside commentary monitor. After over 30 years working as a movie set electrician Ned can inform you with authority which administrators are actual items of labor and that are stable dudes.
How does your choice examine to Amazon or HBO?
Nedflix has 1000’s of titles starting from Oppenheimer, to Billy Clean’s Tae Bo: Fats-Blasting Cardio, to Haskins Household Barbecue ‘87. Whereas the massive streamers provide a fluctuating number of titles, we really personal our content material as a result of Ned sources all of it himself from numerous thrift shops, property gross sales, and rain-soaked cardboard bins marked “FREE” and “BUGS!”
Do you could have uncommon and overseas movies?
Sure! Together with the banned model of Amelie.
Do you could have children films?
Sure, however solely Steamboat Willie.
Do you could have Marvel films?
No.
What about grownup movies?
At Nedflix we take your privateness severely. If you wish to take pleasure in one in every of our adults-only titles, relaxation assured that, whereas Ned will stay within the room, he’ll put on a 100% light-blocking sleep masks and take away his listening to aids when you are “making popcorn.” Whenever you’re executed simply give him a mild faucet on the top to renew service.
How do I cancel Nedflix?
It’s nonetheless a free nation, final time Ned checked. To unsubscribe from Nedflix merely assist Ned load out his gear, shake his hand yet another time, and direct him as he backs the ‘Bago out into the road. Then simply give him a fast wave and he’ll provide you with a mushy honk, finishing your cancellation.
You’ll have the ability to inform from the way in which Ned is squinting, however undoubtedly not crying, that he’s sorry to see you go.
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