Vroom Juice Power Drinks is on the hunt for a rock star, go-getter, perfectionist Social Media Supervisor with a six-pack and a sub-six-minute mile time.
We would like somebody who lives, sleeps, and breathes our core values of Making Cash™, Shilling Caffeine™, and Making Cash from Shilling Caffeine™. This job isn’t like different jobs. As a result of this job comes with a free t-shirt in your first day.
We would like somebody with a coronary heart of gold and testicles of titanium. (Our attorneys need us to make clear that we don’t discriminate on the idea of gender.) Bonus factors when you’ve been to Banff and your quads look good in shorts with a 5” inseam. (Once more, this isn’t technically discriminatory; when you’re leaping to gendered conclusions, that’s a you-problem.) For those who care deeply about outcomes and have at the least 4 buddies named Tyler, we are able to’t wait to satisfy you.
At Vroom Juice, we take enjoyable severely. In reality, we take it so severely that if we uncover you not having enjoyable on the job, you can be penalized. Vroom Juice has a zero-tolerance coverage for individuals who bum us out.
On this place, you need to be so proactive that you just don’t solely do issues earlier than you’re requested; you do issues earlier than you even take into consideration doing them. That’s proper, we’re searching for somebody able to time journey who nonetheless desires to work this 9-6 workplace job. However tbh, who wouldn’t—there’s VR Golf within the foyer.
Our firm motto is, “Individuals First, Merchandise First, High quality First.” This phrase may seem to be phrase salad that doesn’t actually imply something. But when you concentrate on it, we are literally very deep and profound, as a result of our CEO insists we’re. Vroom 4 Lyfe!
We care about our individuals a lot that we use snappy terminology to explain them. We don’t have “staff,” we now have “Squad Members.” That’s proper. It took us 5 separate conferences to vote on that phrase. (Personally, I lobbied for “Firm Simp-Chimps” however you possibly can’t at all times get what you need.)
Give it some thought this fashion: different corporations are the Unhealthy Guys, and we’re the Good Guys*, as a result of ultimately, as soon as we’re solvent, we’re gonna donate vitality drinks to undercaffeinated kids throughout the globe. (*Sure, authorized workforce, I imply “guys” in a gender-neutral method.)
You’re most likely a very good match if:
- You continue to take pleasure in doing the water bottle flip problem.
- You may put on a number of hats, together with: content material supervisor, producer, author, editor, payroll specialist, intern coordinator, and Nike fitted. In reality, we are able to’t even record all of the tasks you’ll have as a result of the CEO makes all his choices day of with a magic 8-ball, so you need to be prepared for something.
Squad Member Advantages:
- Limitless PTO. However whenever you use your Limitless PTO, your supervisor will grill you about the place you’re going and what the ski situations might be like, so it is going to find yourself being far more annoying than taking day off at a traditional firm with capped PTO.
- Our HQ workplace fridges are stocked with free, limitless Vroom Juice (even the flavors that haven’t been launched but as a result of we’re ready on the silly FDA. Dude, there’s barely any metallic in our Tropical Titanium taste).
- You get to take part in Cowabunga Meatball. Mainly, on Friday afternoons, we scream on the prime of our lungs and dump a tray of meatballs on the ground to make our custodians’ lives hell. It by no means stops being humorous.
Even when you don’t meet all our standards, if in case you have a ardour for superior sauce and could be an honest setter on our company seashore volleyball workforce, we encourage you to use. Above all, Vroom Juice values loyalty and we’re seeking to reward individuals who wish to stick with us for the lengthy haul. We haven’t technically been round lengthy sufficient to supply any proof of that, and fact is, operations are fairly loosey-goosey proper now, so it wouldn’t be a shock if turnover finally ends up being extraordinarily excessive.
When submitting your utility, please embody the phrase COWABUNGA MEATBALL in your topic line to show you’ve learn the entire itemizing. That stated, we already employed somebody for the place, and sure he’s a blood relative of mine.
Oh, however we’re legit hiring a custodian. Should love pranks.
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