Notable wins
By and enormous, this has been a exceptional 12 months for Burger Slut. We noticed promising numbers from the Traditional Slut, the Salty Bitch Burger, and the Past Meat Butch Burger, due to a lift from climate-conscious shoppers. We closed Q1 with the profitable launch of the Saucy Slut, the Double Slut, and naturally, the Fats Chick, whereas the Spicy Fats Chick gained traction in pockets of western Jacksonville. Tater Tits noticed a 58% elevate after an aggressive push on social media, and we intend to maintain potato TikTok on tot-watch with the Candy Tater Tit launch this October.
Threat elements
Although we proceed to dominate the sexually suggestive quick informal eatery area of interest, we’re staying vigilant about rising rivals. Different neighborhood grills and household cantinas have caught onto the hanging effectiveness of phrases related to sexual indignity to promote their meals:
- Frozen yogurt chain “Loopy Yogurt” has rebranded to “Hysterical Yogurt” and is in talks to open a juice and smoothie bar, Floozies, on the bottom flooring of a 24-hour health.
- The I-95 northbound relaxation space has launched a mixture Soup Skank/Tramp Canine, from the workforce behind the all-you-can-eat fuel station chili bistro, Guzzler’s.
- We’ve confirmed that longtime rival Panini Whore has added places in J-ville’s southern quadrants, together with a secret menu that includes one thing referred to as a “prosciutto ring.”
Though rivals have clearly taken cues from the Burger Slut model technique, we’re completely dedicated to relentless innovation. Instances are altering, however the hungry public’s propensity for salacious advertising selections persists. Our workforce stays on the slicing fringe of progress, as evidenced by this 12 months’s “Smash-or-pass Burger” and the viral “Vile Wench Fry Pile.”
Studying alternatives
We are able to’t rejoice our wins with out acknowledging our much less fruitful initiatives. For some unknown cause, our Inexperienced Bitch Salad continues on a powerful trajectory, whereas the Son-of-a-Inexperienced-Bitch Salad has not been ordered by a single patron. (We’ve directed employees to push protein add-ons like Aspect-hoe Tofu or grilled rooster boob.)
Information appears to point that our most impactful messaging is that which relates particularly to at least one’s frequent sexual encounters, however this fails to clarify why phrases like Skank, Whore, and Slut proceed to be our heavy hitters, whereas Participant, Romeo, and Clean Operator have struggled to garner the identical outcomes. This elusive pattern is additional evident in lackluster numbers from the Casanova Casserole, Deep-fried Don Juan-tons, and the Mack-daddy Mac n’ cheese bites. Regardless of our higher instincts, low gross sales from Cinco de Mayo have put lastly the nail within the Tableside Cock-a-Mole coffin.
Some have identified we’re seeing disproportionate success with female-coded phrases that particularly degrade girls. However we stress that that’s pure coincidence, as we merely don’t have an equally deep—seemingly limitless—effectively of derogatory phrases related to male promiscuity at our disposal. Nonetheless, our skilled researchers are digging into the information to seek out out why worth objects just like the “Straightforward-to-eat field” have exploded, whereas Penis Nuggets proceed to flop.
Giving Again
Burger Slut has a protracted historical past of group involvement, and we’re proud to replicate on a record-breaking 12 months of charitable giving. We donated over 500,000 Lil’ Slut Sliders to elementary colleges throughout Jacksonville correct, and raised practically $250K for Coronary heart Paws: the biggest shelter community within the bi-state space. Tons of of canine which were uncared for, written off, or shamed for his or her previous habits are discovering heat, respectful properties due to the spectacular gross sales of our Sluts and Bitches.
Wanting Ahead
We’ve lengthy been the mavericks of the higher Floridian quick meals scene, however at present we stand as visionaries of sexually disparaging traditional American fare. Tens of dozens of individuals have already subscribed to our trade publication, Thot Management, and we’re on our solution to changing into the premier obscenity-themed beef vacation spot within the subtropical American East. If one lesson is obvious, it’s that our recipe for fulfillment shouldn’t be altered.
That’s why subsequent 12 months, we’re doubling down. Plans are within the works to distribute our Tremendous Slut Sauce to grocers all through the coastal lowlands. This time subsequent 12 months, we’ll have our sauce in each Gap Meals south of the Georgian meridian. Excitingly, new menu objects have entered testing: together with the choice to show any of our Bitch Salads right into a Slappin’ Bitch Wrap. Lengthy-awaited seafood choices are additionally set to launch this summer season, with each the Sea-ward Shrimp Scampi and the C-word Calamari Platter. Courageous brunch diners can now try to complete the Attractive Man’s Breakfasts—seventeen eggs and a Gatorade—or go in collectively on the shared Seamen Bucket.
Abstract
In conclusion, now we have so much to be pleased with. We managed to develop and check dozens of recent merchandise whereas increasing the Burger Slut footprint all throughout God’s inexperienced peninsula. We’re holding sturdy towards the Panini Whores of the world by sticking to our mainstay messaging. Now, armed with the perception that Cinnamon Twat Pretzels and Rooster Strippers will all the time earn extra consideration—and tons extra money—than a Double-Pecker Patty ever will, we see a promising outlook for the Burger Slut backside line, and a vivid future for our BS mission.
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