The cubicle subsequent to yours is empty. The rumor is Dave left after discovering out he by no means had an actual job with the corporate and was solely employed to be the sufferer of a ridiculously raunchy and borderline deadly prank in a well-liked actuality TV present. This phenomenon is all too widespread in company America. And it might occur to you.
You inform your self, “It might by no means occur to me,” however that is precisely the way you lull your self right into a false sense of safety. Then, while you’re sitting inside your cubicle, plugging and chugging into some spreadsheet, your laptop will projectile vomit bitter milk onto your face earlier than you’re concurrently sandwiched by two sumo wrestlers.
Don’t find yourself on a hilarious, actuality prank present like Milk or Sumo! Preserve your guard up always and observe these tricks to inform the distinction between a mean Monday on the workplace and the perilous trappings of a prank TV present.
Probe the perimeters
For those who fall sufferer to a hysterically harmful prank on actuality TV, chances are high your “co-workers” are employed actors. Interact them in dialog and attempt to suss out their secrets and techniques. Drop delicate strains like, “What’s your stance on pranks?” or “You already know Martha, in the event you have been secretly on TV, I’d inform you. Identical to the way you’d inform me… proper?”
Scream as loud as you may, so long as you may
Actual-life co-workers will develop involved and name the authorities. However, in the event you’re secretly being filmed, that’s scores gold. Nobody will cease you from screaming—the truth is, they’ll ignore you utterly and hope you move out. Due to this fact, you’ll should up the ante and leap on prime of your desk while you scream. If you move out, be certain that to fall and hit your head in a very scary and never humorous means. The prank producers will adore it!
Stop your job
You already know you’re on TV in case your supervisor tries to get you to suppose over your resignation within the new “communal sofa,” which positively isn’t a stay alligator disguised as a communal sofa.
Unfold a rumor
Craft a rumor that makes everybody really feel responsible if they’re pulling pranks. Inform the workplace that your co-worker Martha had a brother who was killed in a horrible prank accident within the hit present, Daytime Drunk Donkey Assaults! and it could be actually fucked up in the event that they tried pranking a co-worker.
Turn out to be desperately weak
Breakdown and confess a traumatic secret. Admit that the rumor about Martha’s brother wasn’t true. The reality is it was your brother who was killed in a horrible prank accident and also you’ve been haunted by the devastating affect pranks can have ever since. Drop to your knees and sob hysterically, cursing heaven for taking him and never you. For those who’re secretly on TV, this whirlpool of emotional trauma will pressure the prank producers to do one thing actually “on the market” to rebalance the emotional scales. They’ll most likely hit you with an aged lady fired out of a cannon.
Get belligerently drunk
How dare they? Pranksters are the evil fiends who sicced a drunk donkey in your brother in Disney World. You shall have your revenge.
Start pulling your individual pranks
You gained’t go down because the co-worker who was employed as a joke and have become medically comatose for a half-ass prank. It’s a prank-or-be-pranked world and dammit all of it in the event you gained’t be getting the final snicker. Dig deep into your contacts to see who has entry to a full-grown cow. As soon as you discover that particular person, clarify to them how you propose to prank your co-worker Martha by sticking her head utterly inside a cow’s ass. Your contact will most likely ask you the usual questions like, “Wait, is that the joke? That will kill her, wouldn’t it?” Reply with one thing easy like, “No, it’ll be hilarious. It’s a prank-or-be-pranked world, now who’s aspect are you on?!”
Commit a criminal offense
You determine to go forward with the cow prank and steal the heifer out of your contact. With the cow again at work, you fastidiously disguise its ass as a tiny, little window. You collect all of your coworkers into the convention room and say, “Whoa, take a look at this tiny, little window! Hey Martha, why don’t you attempt to stick your head in there?” Martha will say, “Why is there a cow right here?” and also you’ll say, “Don’t look behind the costume! Simply stick your head within the tiny, little window!”
“No! That’s a cow’s ass!”
“No, it’s a tiny, little window, dumb dumb. Right here I’ll present you.”
You proceed to stay your head utterly inside a cow’s ass and get caught.
Learn the job description
Oftentimes, they’ll embrace whether or not or not it’s an actual job or a job solely for the aim of being pranked.
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