PLANTATION, FL—Regardless of being a grown-ass grownup within the 12 months 2024, native resident Stu Jeffries instructed reporters Tuesday that he nonetheless thinks of a pc virus as a cartoon worm that bites by your display screen. “I nonetheless think about getting a pc virus by opening a program and clicking on some sort of neon egg, at which level an evil pixelated worm with huge, sharp enamel pops out and slowly inches throughout the display screen,” mentioned the in any other case clever, college-educated man, who then added that whereas the worm may look cute at first, it could then flip crimson, make some form of cackling noise, and quickly devour ones and zeroes because it mentioned “nom nom nom” and creepy cybernetic music performed. “Know-how has progressed lots over the previous couple of a long time, however I can solely ever see my pc being infiltrated by a sequence of two-dimensional monsters, bugs, or gremlins sporting sun shades and doing a bit of dance as they pull cartoon wires out from my arduous drive. After which, as I sit there helplessly, they chew a gap in my display screen, say ‘sayonara, sucker’ and make my pc spark, smoke, after which explode.” Jeffries added that it made sense why he was always getting hacked, as he nonetheless thought the one option to shield his pc was to add his consciousness to his pc by way of floppy disk and personally kill the worm.
