WASHINGTON—In what a lot of his congressional colleagues have described as probably the most noble act of his storied profession, Senate Minority Chief Mitch McConnell (R-KY) introduced Thursday that upon his demise, he would donate his physique to lobbyists for analysis. “By finding out this extraordinary specimen able to such great feats of opportunism, lobbyists will achieve nice insights into the human capability for corruption,” mentioned Don Stewart, McConnell’s deputy chief of workers, explaining that lobbyists would have the ability to take what they realized from the stays of a seven-term senator with out scruple and uncover new methods to purchase and pay for lawmakers. “They are going to be asking questions like: How a lot affect can the human physique peddle? Was there one thing distinctive in Sen. McConnell’s genetic make-up that allowed him to interact in shameless obstructionism and struggle in opposition to marketing campaign finance reform for all these many years? And is that this a high quality that may be replicated in future generations of congressional leaders? The advances for the sphere of lobbying may very well be fairly profound.” Reached for remark, high D.C. lobbyists mentioned the donation of the senator’s physique would lastly permit them to pinpoint the precise location of the good vacancy within McConnell that would solely be crammed with money.
