You’ve been pre-selected—Financial institution of America is happy that can assist you unlock the untapped incomes potential of your toes. Service now obtainable via your BofA app.
How does foot valuation work? Merely comply with the prompts, add a number of well-lit, ankle-down photos, and let Financial institution of America’s built-in AI do the remainder! Foot desirability is calculated utilizing market tendencies (Craigslist), so you’ll be able to have peace of thoughts understanding you’re getting a good value.
Why? As a result of Financial institution of America has at all times been sex-positive, queen! So, should you’re one of many critics, saying we get off on utilizing middle-class monetary turmoil to show a revenue, we simply should ask—have you ever at all times kink-shamed?
Combating stigma is a serious a part of what we do. Do we’ve room to develop? You betcha. BofA has failed up to now. Hair, plasma, marrow—we have been behind the eight ball find methods to shamelessly commodify different components of the human physique. In terms of the toes market, we wish to be a part of the answer. Do you?
Nonetheless, feeling uncertain? Instances could be robust—who hasn’t wanted a multi-billion greenback bailout? Some insecurity is regular when turning your toes right into a sidehustle for the primary time. However on this economic system, everybody deserves (and possibly wants) a number of sources of revenue. When you’ve learn this far, that features you. For positive.
Financial institution of America desires to empower you by setting you up so that you by no means have to tug your self up by the bootstraps once more. All you gotta do is kick these infants off, snap a number of pics, and drawback solved. So sufficient with the entitlement. Think about the approach to life you would have constructed by now should you’d cease being a prude and promote.
Look, everybody is aware of holding your cash tucked underneath the mattress does you no good. The identical goes for the dimensions nines you’ve nonetheless acquired tucked in these beat-up Reeboks. Make your property go to be just right for you.
Bear in mind! Even bunions will pay the payments.
Nonetheless holding out on us? Actually? Not prefer it’s blood—you’ll be able to actually promote as a lot as you need.
Is it a psychological factor? Simply sit in your foot for some time until it falls asleep. Fake it’s not yours.
How is that weirder? We did not say you needed to fake it was another person’s foot. It might have simply been the summary concept of a foot. You made this bizarre. Not Financial institution of America.
What if we provide you with a intelligent branding portmanteau to make this really feel extra approachable? Like Toeconomy? Feetnance? Feetancial?
Nice information! You simply certified to make use of your toes as collateral when securing a mortgage with a bonus of 25,000 factors and no annual charge. Now will you give us your cash?
Our attorneys request we be crystal clear right here. Must you fail to repay your mortgage, Financial institution of America is not going to personal your toes, per se, however we’ll seize the likeness of your toes and have entry to a predetermined variety of pics per thirty days.
Chase your monetary desires. Foot the Invoice® with Financial institution of America.
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