RESTON, VA—Documenting how spiraling loop-de-loops by site visitors assist staff velocity previous rush-hour bottlenecks, a research printed Thursday within the Journal Of Transportation Engineering discovered that rocket-powered curler skates had been nonetheless the quickest option to commute to eccentric inventor jobs. “Even in areas with entry to high-speed commuter rail, a pair of jet-propelled skates that zigzags unpredictably by metropolis streets and leaves behind a blinding exhaust of vapor clouds stays the quickest approach for misfit scientists to get to work,” stated Professor Lawrence Wilson, the research’s lead writer, noting that the rocket-powered skates clocked instances that had been twice as quick as voice-activated propeller hats and practically 5 instances as speedy as makeshift fowl wings. “Although the curler skates will typically malfunction, inflicting the wacky inventors to plow by their laboratory partitions and go away a human-shaped holes behind them, the lowered transit instances are simple. The transportation technique raises clear issues of safety, however our knowledge present these may be mitigated by carrying steampunk goggles and a flame-retardant jumpsuit, in addition to by executing zany maneuvers to keep away from collision with a semi truck by ducking all the way down to cross beneath its trailer within the nick of time.” Wilson added that the second-fasted option to commute to a job as an eccentric inventor remained touring within the sidecar of a motorbike operated by a hunchbacked laboratory assistant.
