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Saturday, December 21, 2024

Nikki Glaser Fumbles ‘Thursday Night time Soccer’ Jokes


Observe to Amazon: Simply because Nikki Glaser torched Tom Brady on his Netflix roast doesn’t make her the go-to comedian for soccer broadcasts. As Glaser admitted in her post-game “Late Hits” phase after Amazon’s Thursday Night time Soccer, “I wish to be sincere, I’m fairly new to soccer. I used to suppose a two-minute warning was one thing a man gave you one minute into intercourse.”

Perhaps a line like that lands in entrance of a dwell viewers, however Glaser didn’t fairly appear to know easy methods to deal with the chortle void throughout her post-game phase, pausing for reactions from an viewers that wasn’t there. 

The phase is meant to permit Glaser to share “her additional factors, offensive traces, takeaways and every thing you missed whereas watching the precise sport.” However since Glaser admits she doesn’t know what’s happening, how can she inform us what we missed?

As an alternative, final night time no less than, she leaned into the roast jokes that bought her the job within the first place. And so, she instantly went after everybody on the published group: 

  • Charissa Thompson: “I simply should say it’s so good to lastly meet the photograph I present my plastic surgeon. However severely, you might be fairly intimidating. You seem like the ultimate boss at a rustic membership.”
  • Richard Sherman: “Buster Rhymes on Ozempic.”
  • Andrew Whitworth: “Males’s Wearhouse Shrek.”
  • Tony Gonzalez: “You seem like a genie you may solely summon by rubbing the crotch of a smart Talbots pantsuit.” 
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick: “Or as your teammates known as you, Zach Galifianakis.”

It was solely downhill from there. Generic punchlines about New York and Boston. Cliches in regards to the Jets and Patriots. One of many broadcasters audibly groaned when Glaser known as the Patriots “the one factor that Ben Affleck can decide to.”

A minimum of that was written forward of time. Jokes in regards to the precise sport fell flat. After a clip of Jets receiver Allen Lazard getting his jersey pulled, Glaser quipped, “I haven’t seen a stretch like that since I attempted to persuade DiCaprio I used to be 25.” 

Yeah, that was a stretch all proper. 

“Awkward” gave the impression to be the dominant phrase when the web lined Glaser’s debut this morning. “Glaser and Thursday Night time Soccer go collectively about in addition to Aaron Rodgers and The Pat McAfee Present,” wrote Terrible Saying. “You possibly can’t actually get pleasure from it, however you may’t flip it off both.”

Social media wasn’t any kinder.

In Glaser’s many talk-show appearances after the Tom Brady roast, she talked about her tireless preparation, workshopping punchlines in entrance of dwell audiences to hone her jokes and jabs. After the Jets/Patriots sport, we get to see what Glaser feels like when she has to name audibles. A few of the jokes have been strong, however with no viewers to chortle at them, Glaser seemed like a rookie quarterback making an attempt to regulate to the velocity of the NFL. 

Perhaps it’s not time to ship her to the bench, however Amazon has to make some half-time changes. 



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