Babe, I simply wish to thanks for giving me one other likelihood. I promise I’ve deliberate one thing actually particular for Valentine’s Day.
No, it’s not a tour of the Tenement Museum! Not once more.
This may simply be a romantic night time in with a bottle of vino, that truffle-salt popcorn you’re keen on, and a bit one thing on streaming to get you going.
I’m speaking secrets and techniques. Intrigue. Betrayal. A younger Penn Badgley.
Oh, yeah. I rented Margin Name.
What do you imply, “What’s that?”
It’s solely essentially the most acclaimed 2011 ensemble drama in regards to the 2008 monetary disaster that made nearly 5 and a half million {dollars} on the home field workplace. The Massive Brief can go fuck itself.
Shhh. Shut up. Image this.
Your pint-sized dreamboat, Penn Badgley, on the membership. His card? Black. His hair? Tousled. The music? Pulsing. A bead of sweat runs down his excellent Adam’s apple. His cellphone rings. Who’s it?
It’s Sizzling Spock himself, Zach Quinto, beckoning Badgely again to the workplace to take a look at a bunch of spreadsheets.
Is it a quickie?
No.
For the remainder of the night time, put together to look at this twink junior funding banker get completely railed by descriptions of math. You’ve seen Penn Badgely, however you’ve by no means seen him like this. He’s wanting confused within the background of conferences. He’s wanting despondent within the background of conferences. He’s wanting down from the roof between conferences, considering whether or not it could be higher to only leap–
Oh.
I believed you favored Penn Badgley. I suppose I used to be projecting.
Okay, new plan. How a few V-Day foursome with Paul Bettany and Stanley Tucci? Your Albino King and your Pasta Daddy? Are you as al dente as I’m?
Good.
So, in Margin Name, “The Tooch” is head of Danger Administration earlier than he will get fired within the first 5 minutes. Yeah, sooner than you may say “risotto.” No, he’s gone for many of the runtime.
And your pale English rose, Bettany has to search out him.
Sure, similar to Sleepless in Seattle!
Solely, as an alternative of calling right into a whimsical radio present, he’s chain-smoking, flop-sweating, and yelling into his cellphone.
But it surely’s all price it when these stubbly hunks are sitting thigh-to-unshowered-thigh on the stoop of Tucci’s Brooklyn brownstone to ponder buying and selling their integrity for fats severance packages.
And who’s sitting within the automotive like a lapdog watching them liquidate their positions?
Penn Badgley.
Mmmfff. That’s the sizzle! That’s the sauce, babe. That’s Margin Name.
I don’t perceive what your drawback is right here! This solid is a assassin’s row of panty-droppers. Tucci. Badgely. Quinto. Bettany. Aasif Fucking Mandvi. That smug man from The Mentalist. You recognize, the one who seems like an costly lion?
Simon Baker! Thanks.
Child, I’m making an attempt to provide you Simon Baker in his prime—shirtless, bronzed, leaning over the workplace males’s room sink to take a whore’s tub as a result of he’s been planning the monetary devastation of the American folks since 2 AM. His biceps ripple like the approaching penalties of his actions.
All of the sudden, from one of many stalls, we hear it. Muffled, but alluring sobs. Another person is in right here.
The door opens.
And who’s shivering like an attractive chihuahua as he tries to keep away from the ego-annihilating disgrace of crying in entrance of his boss who’s about to fireside him, though he has the tight, nubile physique of a Greco-Roman faun?
Oh god, sure. It’s Penn Badgley.
Wow. Now, that was simply hurtful.
And it’s fucking unfair to say that I’ve “more and more unusual fixations” and “a pathological incapacity to hear.” (Did you return to Dr. Manoukian with out me?) I’ve been paying rapt consideration to the flicks you’ve picked, and the sample couldn’t be clearer. Fairly Lady. Fifty Shades of Gray. Disclosure. Honey. Should you’d simply personal your kink for white-collar paperwork and contract negotiation, we’d each be quite a bit happier.
By the best way, talking of Disclosure, in the event you bought off on Demi Moore seducing Michael Douglas within the workplace, you’ll love seeing her get bent over a desk by Jeremy “The Iron Man” Irons.
You recognize. Figuratively.
When he forces her to resign as Chief Danger Administration Officer.
And take the blame for the agency’s over-leveraged place.
In Margin Name.
Babe. The place are you going?
Babe?
Oh my. That may be a girthy stack of varieties. Let’s have a look.
Are these divorce papers?
I see what’s occurring right here.
Fuck. Fuck that’s scorching.
All this workplace speak has gotten you panting, and now you wish to role-play.
Effectively, hand me that ballpoint pen, and let’s see the place this goes, you minx.
However I get to be Penn Badgley.
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