SCHAUMBURG, IL—Admitting that he ought to frankly know higher than to share something at this level, native man Jason Dearborn advised reporters Monday that sending a photograph of a backyard cucumber to his father unleashed a torrent of unbridled criticism. “I texted my household a photograph of what I believed was a great-looking, homegrown cucumber, and inside 30 seconds, I’d already obtained six messages asking me why it seemed so pale, spindly, and malnourished,” stated Dearborn, including that regardless of the heirloom selection showing precisely because it did on the seed packet, his father instantly demanded to know what sort of mulch, soil, and fertilizer his son had been utilizing. “My mother responded with the phrase ‘lovely,’ however my dad piled on and requested if I’d planted it within the shade, if I’d been watering it appropriately, and if I’d used the plant meals he purchased me. He even advised me to tear out the bush and begin over. There’s no manner he doesn’t fly out subsequent yr and plant my backyard for me.” At press time, Dearborn added that the photograph of his backyard cucumber had seemingly woke up one thing deep inside his mom, prompting her to ship numerous messages privately about what an asshole her husband was.
