NEW YORK—In a discovering that sheds gentle upon the lives of lots of of People who expertise related fates every year, a Columbia College report launched Friday linked climbing onto an infinite index finger with being whisked away to a kingdom of giants. “Our analysis suggests there’s a robust correlation between scurrying up onto a 50-foot-wide human palm and being spirited away to an unbelievable realm dominated by behemoths,” learn the report partially, which revealed that 93% of people who described desperately clinging to a large’s knuckle hair as they had been rushed via an enchanted forest finally discovered themselves in an odd village generally known as Cyclopus or Jumbolia. “We’ve analyzed many such instances, and nearly inevitably, the act of taking refuge in a large’s hand results in an individual being gingerly tucked right into a makeshift mattress crafted from an infinite handkerchief and a little bit of hay. This occurred no matter whether or not the person was a mischievous younger scamp or an previous curmudgeon who loses his skepticism about magic after seeing properties that tower to the celebrities and a large carrot that he may nibble on for months on finish.” The report added that in a small minority of instances, climbing onto the large hand led to the person being tickled into arousal, slowly undressed, after which delivered to a shuddering climax.
