PHOENIX—Having grown aside through the years of their views on sin, depravity, and unusual, diabolical rites, satanic couple Dane and Melissa Sinclair informed reporters Tuesday they now not have a shared darkish imaginative and prescient for the longer term. “We used to see eye-to-eye on our Darkish Lord’s plan for us, however as we’ve grown older, we’ve come to really feel in a different way about the easiest way to tempt humanity into Lucifer’s maniacal thrall,” mentioned Melissa Sinclair, explaining that whereas they’d initially bonded over their mutual enthusiasm for a black shroud falling upon the earth and plunging it right into a thousand years of chaos, she and Dane hadn’t felt that first blush of unspeakable perversity and evil in fairly a while. “As I turned extra concerned with animal and human sacrifice, he began immersing himself extra in his esoteric texts and darkish arts that he says will unleash loss of life and insanity upon the world. So we actually don’t have a lot to speak about anymore. We had deliberate on giving delivery to the Antichrist sometime, however he retains attempting to place it off by saying we now have to attend till a blood moon rises on the winter solstice.” At press time, the satanic couple’s relationship hit a brand new roadblock after Dane gently hinted at the potential for opening up their marriage to demonic hellspawn.
